PRATYAGATI

The Flute and the Holy Name

2011-05-01T13:36:00.008-04:00

" The vibration of His flute is just like a bird that creates a nest within the ears of the gopis, and always remains prominent there, not allowing any other sound to enter their ears. Indeed the gopis cannot hear anything else , nor are they able to concentrate on anything else, not even to give a suitable reply. Such are the effects of Lord Krsna's flute."
~ Lord Caitanya to Sanatana Goswami

The vibration of Krsna's flute is always prominent in the ears of the gopis. Naturally they cannot hear anything else. Constant remembrance of the holy sound of Krsna's flute keeps them enlightened and enlivened, and they do not allow any other sound to enter their ears.

Since their attention is fixed on Krsna's flute, they cannot divert their minds on any other subject. The vibration of Krsna's flute is represented by the Hare Krsna maha-mantra.

A serious devotee of the Lord who chants and hears this transcendental vibration becomes so accustomed to it that he cannot divert his attention to any subject matter not related to Krsna's blissful characteristics and paraphenalia.

~ Purport to CC Madhya Lila, 21.144

The Magical Flute

2011-04-14T15:22:00.003-04:00

Whenever I hear great artists like Hariprasad Chaurasia or Kudamaloor Janardanan play the flute, I am captivated by the rich timbre of its sound and the lilting sweetness of the ragas played. And my mind is always swept to the same thought.... If a mere mortal can create such an exquisite sound, what must it sound like when, to His sweet lips, Krsna places His bamboo flute?? It made me think of a poem I recently came across, in a book entitled "White whispers: Selected poems of Salabega", Salabega being a 17th century Oriyan poet and Vaisnava. Despite being born to a Muslim father, he was utterly and completely devoted to Lord Jaganath, who is none other than Krsna Himself. His poem is titled, 'Who Plays on the Magical Flute?' That is what is must be like when Krsna plays His flute...magical!

Who is it on the magical flute

from beneath the kadamba tree?

Blowing it, He stole away

my heart's glittering gold.

Listening to its mellowed song

rocks melt away, withered twigs

merrily dance with new foliage.

And listening to it my eyes do away with sleep.

Listening to its sorcerous songs

the mild Yamuna goes wild,

and her multicoloured trouts

wince on the bank's unkind bosom.

Will there be no meeting

of my Lord with His hearts priceless gem?

Thus prays Salabega,

the down-trodden, the lowborn.

Happy Hopeful New Year!

2011-01-01T13:55:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year!
As 2009 turned into 2010 last year, my life had been irreversibly altered. I held a tiny 12 day old baby in my arms. All the time and energy I devoted to myself turned into energy I devoted, almost completely, to her.
And now, as 2010 turned into 2011, I have a little toddler - energetic and untiring in her endeavours to learn everything she can as she explores the world in she lives. Combine that with being in school, trying to complete my BCom degree, and be a devotee...well, I've felt myself spread a little thin.
Most of my time and energy is devoted to my daughter - and that is a service I am so, so happy to have; the chance to bring up a little Vaisnavi and teach her everything I can about Krsna, and being a vaisnava (although, as it happens, she is the one who teaches me a whole lot of things on that topic!)
But my spiritual life has taken a back seat and for the longest time I have felt disconnected from Krsna. I know that it comes with the territory of being a new mom - but it's disheartening nonetheless.

And so as 2010 neared it's end, I read the wonderful resolutions of friends around the world on Facebook - resolutions designed to increase their devotion, to live more Krsna-conscious lives and to give Krsna to as many people as they could - I admired, and admittedly, envied them. Where was my resolution that would bring me closer to Krsna? I didn't even feel motivated to make a resoultion! Instead, I felt...hopeless. When you feel disconnected and unmotivated for long enough, well, you tend to give up a little - you start to feel like maybe Krsna is beyond your reach and may have actually forgotten about you.
I've felt so scattered over the past year - moving from Canada to South Africa, spending some time in New York, back to SA and finally returning to Canada a few weeks ago; combine that with caring for a baby, spending as much time as I can with my family and studying for exams and the result: My relationship with Krsna had begun to feel a little superficial and habitual.

And then this morning, I came across this wonderful e-mail written by HH Sacinandana Swami. It is truly a message of hope:

With More Strength than a Million Suns ....
A New Year's Message of Hope

Night is falling quickly this winter evening, and it is snowing again. I am sitting in our little Gaura Bhavan Ashram, on the shore of Lake Wannensee, and thinking about each of you whom I met during the past year. I want to send you a message of hope - realistic hope.

Throughout my pilgrimage to Vrindavan, India, a sweet realization entered my awareness again and again. That is, Krishna is unlimitedly merciful. We simply need to be willing to accept His mercy and turn to Him.

The problem is, though, that often His mercy is not easy for us to recognize, and that's especially true when we're overburdened by challenging life situations or plain, old doubts. I learned something about doubt on this trip to India, because while sitting under a tree at Govinda-kunda I met one practitioner of bhakti who expressed his doubt to me. He said, "I have been practicing bhakti-yoga now for more than ten years, but I cannot even control my agitated and self-centered mind what to speak of develop love for Krishna. There seems to be obstacles on my path as tall as the Himalayan Mountains, and both the darkness of material consciousness and the general atmosphere of Kali-yuga are overwhelming. On some days I feel hopeless."

Fortunately, I was well equipped to answer his doubt since just that morning I found a message of hope in the eighteenth chapter (text 56) of the Bhagavad-gita. There Krishna says, "Under My protection My devotee reaches
My eternal abode."

Srila Prabhupada writes in his purport to this verse: "To a devotee who is engaged in Krishna consciousness, the Lord is very, very kind. In spite of all difficulties, he is eventually placed in the transcendental abode, or Krishnaloka."

And two verses later, Krishna emphatically declares: "If you become conscious of Me, you will pass over all obstacles of conditioned life by My grace."

Please note: It is not by our own strength that we can conquer the darkness
that surrounds us but by the strength of Krishna, which is more powerful than the power of one million suns.

Coming to the Turning Point

Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami expresses the same point in this famous verse from the Chaitanya-charitamrita, (Madhya-lila 22.33): "One is immediately freed from the clutches of maya if he seriously and sincerely says, 'My dear Lord Krishna, although I have forgotten You for so many long years in the material world, today I am surrendering unto You. I am Your sincere and serious servant. Please engage me in Your service.'"

So it seems the only requirement for being accepted and protected by Krishna is that one comes to the turning point and sincerely surrenders to Krishna,
renouncing all other shelters.

Someone who has found Krishna's shelter is not inconvenienced by adverse circumstances. The Sanskrit word ashraya, or shelter, comes from the root
word sri, which means "to be brilliant and dazzling." For a devotee who surrenders to Krishna's direction the cloud of anxiety enveloping an unsurrendered soul lifts, and he begins to shine with Krishna conscious
happiness. Krishna has personally fortified and empowered such a devotee
with His own spiritual energy - more brilliant than the sun. Srila Prabhupada writes: "The foolish cannot understand this great freedom from
anxiety."

Another feature in the life of a devotee who has given himself into
Krishna's hands is that he is not so easily exhausted. When I visited Srila
Prabhupada in 1974 in his room in Germany, he gave me several personal
instructions, one of which was to become a water-carrier. I used to wonder
exactly what he meant by that until one day I came upon an old well in
Serbia and watched how it served many people. I remembered my spiritual
master's instruction and then wrote this small poem:

Never Exhausted

An old well gave water to all -
the young, the old, the happy, the sad -
every day without hesitation or delay.

When I first came to him thirsty, I was amazed:
Did giving water again and again
not exhaust him?
So I decided to ask.
"No problem," he said, "I am only the well,
not the spring, which supplies me
as long as the connection is there."

Let's live like the well -
live in the higher connection.
You will be happy to pass on
what the source gives you,
never to be exhausted.

Why am I writing this? Simply to encourage you. There is good reason to be hopeful. Krishna is very, very kind to and supportive of His devotees. He waits patiently for them to turn to Him, and then He responds immediately. Often He Himself takes the first step toward them. "He is so kind, so very
kind," as Srila Prabhupada used to say.

We have only to accept that Krishna's kindness follows His own mind and not
always our expectations. This means He gives us exactly what we need at any
given time.

So now my question these days is, How can I live in relationship with Him? As I ponder this question I look out at the winter night. The stars blink in the distance. Is the Lord as far away as those stars or is He closer? How can I connect with Him?

During the last year I learned some things that help me make that connection. I'd like to share them with you:

1. Become aware that Krishna is the goal of your life.
2. Offer as many acts as you can in His service. Activate your relationship with Him and ask for guidance how to further activate it from those who have
an active relationship with Him, like Srila Prabhupada and your other
spiritual masters.
3. Train your mind to connect with Krishna through devotional thoughts. Convince your intelligence of the truth of Krishna consciousness.
4. Take full and unreserved shelter in the processes of bhakti - the hearing and chanting and reading the scriptures under the guidance of great
devotees.
5. Most importantly, pray, pray, pray. Bring your spiritual heart into your prayer.
Pray like the bird who sits in the nest waiting fervently for its mother to bring it food.
Pray like the thirsty calf who tugs at the rope binding it to a stake so it can run forward to its mother's udder.
Pray like the morose wife who yearns for her husband when he is away from home.

You will soon find that Krishna is only a prayer away. He is not like the stars in the winter sky, which are distant, cold, and unapproachable. When you reach Him in devotion, Krishna will respond to you in ways beyond your boldest imagination. Yes, the Lord is only a prayer away!

On the eve of 2011, I didn't have a single resolution - now I have five.
On the eve of 2011, I was hopeless - now I am hopeful.
Here's to a year of surrender, deepened awareness of Krsna's mercy and most of all, prayer.

Happy 2011!!

Full blossom...

2010-08-10T03:55:00.002-04:00

"As a flower in the bud gradually fructifies and yields it's desired aroma and beauty, so when a living entity comes to the platform of Krsna consciousness, the beauty of his real form comes into full blossom. That is the ultimate beauty and the ultimate fulfillment of desires."

S.B 10.13.51 purport

Mamma Mia!!

2010-06-24T04:18:00.004-04:00

Nobody told me how hard being a new mother would be.
Actually they did. They all did. I just didn't believe them.
After all, how hard could it be to take care of a little person? All they need is to eat, sleep and have their diapers changed - usually in that order.
But did you know that in the beginning they eat every two hours?
And did you know that sometimes putting them to sleep would take both a longer amount of time than they actually slept for, as well as a great deal of creativity (rocking? no. Bouncing? No. Singing? No. Rocking, bouncing and singing? Yes. *cue sigh of relief*) and leave you in need of a nap - but before your head actually hits the pillow for said nap, the little person is awake and ready to go again?
I did not know this. I do now.

I think I looked a little wild-eyed, a little crazy in the beginning. Yes, I definitely did. Sadly Vaishali did not come with a users manual. Of course there are plenty of baby books (not to mention aunts, grandmothers, friends, neighbours, strangers) to give you advice, but what I needed was a manual tailor-made to fit Vaishali's personality. You know, something that went along the lines of:

This model of baby will wake up every day, without fail, at 5 a.m and require 2 hours of non-stop playing activity. Do not bother trying to change this habit. Or praying that it will change. It won't. Ever.

But now, my little girl is 6 months old, and the crazy, sleep-deprived days are getting better. I no longer check on her every five minutes, just to make sure she's breathing (I've stretched it to about 15 minutes, and yes, I'm proud of that achievement, thank you very much.)

Of course, each new stage comes with new challenges. The nature of my questions have changed. It's no longer "Is she getting enough milk", but "Is she ready for grains?" I no longer panic when she cries (which is hardly ever - which is of course something I used to panic about too. You know, "Shouldn't she cry more than this?" I'd fret. "I think she's just a happy baby," my husband or mother would comment, a tad dryly.)
And sometimes, in my sleep-deprived, hormonal, overly-worried state I would feel bad for my little baby. Didn't she deserve a mother who actually knew what they were doing? Who knew what each different cry meant, who knew how to calm and soothe her and take care of her from the very moment she entered this world?

For a new mother, there's nothing better than talking to or hearing about other new mum's and their experiences. It's comforting to know that your neurotic state of mind is not unique, that you are not the only one who feels overwhelmed at times, or at a loss over what to do.
I recently read a book, and in it a first-time mother, a few years after the birth of her son, stated, " You can never be one hundred percent prepared for motherhood, because it is motherhood itself that prepares you."

How completely, and utterly true.

I assumed that the role of mother was one I would take on naturally, gracefully. It wasn't. I may have carried Vaishali for 9 months, but I only really met her after she was born, and only got to know her in the weeks and months that followed. And it was difficult, not having any experience. But as the days passed, that experience came - I grew stronger and more sure of myself and my ability to take care of my child.
And now, Vaishali and I know each other pretty well. Each day, as she discovers more and more about herself, the world she lives in, and the people who love her, we discover more about her. Between her father and I, we know how to make her smile. We know that lots of kisses from her papa will irritate her, unless its first thing in the morning and she's just woken up. We know that after she's had her pureed squash or sweet potatoes, she likes to babble with the spoon in her mouth. We know that she likes it when we firmly press her arms and legs - it calms her down. We know that we can get her to give us big, open-mouthed, spitty kisses by saying, "Kisses!!"

It has been a life-altering experience, becoming a mother. But I guess, that's what babies do! They take us on a journey that changes us from self-centered and selfish, to become more giving, more open and more loving individuals.

What a blessing babies are!

Happy Mothers Day!!

2010-05-09T06:22:00.002-04:00

Vaishali Sundari

Happy Mothers Day! I don't think there should be only one out of 365 days in honor of a person who gives so selflessly, who works so tirelessly, who loves so unconditionally.

Since giving birth to our daughter Vaishali Sundari 4 and a half months ago, I have a new appreciation and understanding of what my own mother has felt for me since before I was born, and for what she has done since.

And now, as a new mother, I am tired, sleep-deprived and slightly neurotic, but I am also overjoyed and honored (and a little scared, truth be told) that Krsna has given me my own little Vaisnavi to raise.

My mother...

Who fed me from her gentle breast,
And hush'd me in her arms to rest,
And on my cheek sweet kisses prest?
My Mother.

When sleep forsook my open eye,
Who was it sung sweet hushaby,
And rock'd me that I should not cry?
My Mother.

Who sat and watch'd my infant head,
When sleeping on my cradle bed,
And tears of sweet affection shed?
My Mother.

When pain and sickness made me cry,
Who gaz'd upon my heavy eye,
And wept, for fear that I should die?
My Mother.

Who drest my doll in clothes so gay,
And taught me pretty how to play,
And minded all I had to say?
My Mother.

Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My Mother.

Who taught my infant lips to pray,
And love God's holy book and day,
And walk in wisdom's pleasant way?
My Mother.

And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee,
Who wast so very kind to me,
My Mother.

Ah! no, the thought I cannot bear;
And if God please my life to spare,
I hope I shall reward thy care,
My Mother.

When thou art feeble, old, and gray,
My healthy arm shall be thy stay,
And I will soothe thy pains away,
My Mother.

And when I see thee hang thy head,
'Twill be my turn to watch thy bed,
And tears of sweet affection shed,
My Mother.

For could our Father in the skies
Look down with pleased or loving eyes,
If ever I could dare despise
My Mother.
- Ann Taylor

Dawn

2010-03-22T07:33:00.003-04:00

Behind a bank of Syama-coloured storm clouds, resting above the ocean from the night before, the sun rises, painting the clouds and sky above fiery hues of orange, pink and purple.
Krsna, what an artist You are!

(21 March 2010, North Coast, Durban, South Africa)

Beauty on the Beach

2009-11-12T09:05:00.006-05:00

Sand sculptures by artist Sudarshan Pattnaik, on the beaches of Puri...

And the piece de resisitance...

Krsna-Rama!

2009-09-15T11:29:00.002-04:00

As He takes care of the cows, Krishna jokes and plays with His friends. When He calls, the cows come. I pray that playful Krishna will enter my memory and make me tremble with love for Him.
When will Krishna and Balarama, holding hands, laughing, and joking, make my heart tremble with love?
“Rama! Krishna! Krishna-Rama! Krishna! Krishna! Krishna!” Here and there on the pathways of Goloka one may hear the people chanting these names as they come and go.
~ Gopala Champu

Srimati Radhika's beauty and the envious moon

2009-08-27T12:12:00.004-04:00

Her glorious complexion fair, Her garments red, and Her new youthfulness effulgent, Sri Radha, delighting Her friends, and graceful like a crescent moon in its second night, shone with great splendor.

Sri Radha's limbs glistened like lightning. Sri Radha's hair was like a dark monsoon cloud with lightning. Sri Radha's neck and other limbs are like the winding tendrils of a golden sura-lata vine. Sri Radha's face graced with many black and curly locks of hair is like a lotus encircled by black bees. Sri Radha's forehead is like a half-moon. Sri Radha's eyes are like two stars. Sri Radha's eyebrows are like two archer's bows. Sri Radha's nose is like a graceful arrow. Sri Radha's ears are like the tips of the tendrils of two golden vines. Sri Radha's cheeks are like two round fruits borne by that vine. Sri Radha's mouth is like a golden cup with rubies around its circle top. Sri Radha's teeth are like pearls fallen from a cloud. Sri Radha's gentle smile is like the sweet fragrance of vine that bears flowers of poetic words. Shri Radha's lips are like flower petals.

Sri Radha's abdomen is like an ashvattha leaf. The line of hairs on Shri Radha's body is like a graceful line drawn upon it. Sri Radha's waist is like an altar built by Vishvakarma, the demigods' architect. Sri Radha's navel is like a deep and holy pilgrimage lake. Sri Radha's two legs, anointed with various colors, and graceful like the most graceful elephant's trunk, are clothed in wonderful and colorful garments that reach to Her glorious feet. Sri Radha's feet glorious with the effulgence of Her toenails are like two glorious blossoming flowers anointed with cooling drops of mist. Sri Radha's arms are like two soft golden-lotus stems. Sri Radha's hands are like two lotus flowers. In this way Sri Radha's form is splendid and beautiful.

Sri Radha's hair is curly and graceful. Sri Radha's hair is gracefully dishevelled. Shri Radha's tilaka is perfect, unbroken, graceful, and glorious with various colors. Sri Radha's earrings are reflected in the two blue lotus flowers of Her eyes. Sri Radha's smile is reflected in the pearl-ring on Her nose. A whispering belt of jangling bells glistens over Sri Radha's garments. Sri Radha's neck, arms, and other limbs are decorated with tilaka and with many glorious ornaments. What more can I say? Sri Radha's graceful head is the ultimate ornament, the ornament that decorates all the other parts of Her body.

The gopi-maidservants decorating Sri Radha were stunned with wonder. Quickly and expertly they decorated Her.

Seeing Sri Radha sublime splendor, the moon burned with envy. Those flames of envy in the moon's heart must have left marks now visible on the moon's surface. This I think.

~ Gopala Champu by Jiva Goswami

Dear Krishna...

2009-08-18T09:37:00.003-04:00

Little Raj came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Little Raj was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Raj's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Raj, of course, thought he did. Raj's mother wanted Raj to reflect on his behaviour over the last year. "Go to your room, Raj, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to Krishna and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."

Little Raj stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write Krishna a letter.

**************

Letter 1: Dear Krishna, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Raj

**************

Raj knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, So he tore up the letter and started over.

**************

Letter 2: Dear Krishna, This is your friend Raj. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you. Your friend, Raj

**************

Raj knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

**************

Letter 3: Dear Krishna, I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday. Raj

**************

Raj knew he could not send this letter to krishna either. So, Raj wrote a fourth letter.

**************

Letter 4: Krishna, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday please! Thank you, Raj

**************

Raj knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Raj was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to temple. Raj's mother thought her plan had worked, as Raj looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner", Raj's mother told him. Raj walked down the street to the temple on the corner. Little Raj went into the temple and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Raj bent down and picked up a statue of the Radha. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the temple, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.

He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Raj began to write his letter to Krishna.

**************

Letter 5: Krishna, I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!

(Just for laughs...OBVIOUSLY!!)

It's Dauji's birthday!!

2009-08-05T13:31:00.003-04:00

May Lord Balarama the master of Goloka the supreme controller of all controllers who is always glorified by pure kirtan, protect me. May Lord Balarama appearing as Ananta Sesa, who on His hand holds the earth as if it were a single mustard seed, protect me on the earth.

May Lord Balarama protect me when I am surrounded by many armies. May Lord Balarama, who holds a plow, always protect me in the battle. May Lord Balarama, who holds a club, always protect me in the fortress. O Sankarsana please protect me in the forest.

May Lord Balaram, who wears blue garments and who stopped the Yamuna always protect me in water. May Lord Balarama protect me in the wind. May Lord Balarama protect me inthe sky. May Lord Balarama who is Lord Ananta Himself, always protect me inthe great ocean.

May Lord Balarama, who is Vasudeva's son, protect me in the mountains. May Lord Balarama, who has a thousand hands, protect me in times of war. May Lord Balarama, Rohininandana, protect me from desires. May Lord Balarama,kamapala, who fulfils desires, protect me from catastrophes.

May Lord Balarama, Dhenukari, who killed the demon Dhenukasura, always protect me from lust. May Lord Balarama, who killed Dvivida, always protect me from anger. May Lord Balarama, who is the enemy of the Balvala, always protect me from greed. May Lord Balarama, Magadharrh, the enemy of Jarasandha, always protect me from illusion.

May Lord Balarama, Vrsni-Dhurya, best of the Vrsnis, always protect me at sunrise (6-8:30am). May Lord Balarama, Mathura-purandarah, the king of Mathura city, kindly protect me in the morning. May Lord Balarama,Gopa-sakha, the friends of the Gopas, always protect me at midday. May Lord Balarama, who is completely independent, always protect me in the afternoon.

May Lord Balarama, Phanindro, the king of serpents, always protect me at sunset. May Lord Balarama, who is greater then the greatest, always protect me in the evening. May Lord Balarama, whose power is invinsible,always protect me in the midnight. May Lord Balarama, always protect me at every sunrise.

May Lord Balarama, Revati pati, the husband of Revati, protect me from the four intermediate directions (NE,NW,SE,SW). May Lord Balarama, Pralambari,the enemy of the Pralamba, protect me from the four directions(N,S,E,W). MayLord Balarama, the best of the Yadavas, protect me from below, May Lord Balabhadra always protect me from above. May Lord Baladeva, protect me here and every where.

May Lord Balarama, Purusottama the Supreme Personality of Godhead, always protect me from within, may the supremely powerful Lord Balarama, Nagendra,who enjoys pastimes as the king of serpents, protect me from without. May Lord Balarama Lord Hari the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the supersoul residing in the everyone's heart always protect me.

Please know that the kavaca of Lord Balarama destroys the fears of the demigods and demons. It is a blazing fire that burns up a host of sins. It spells death to a host of obstacles. It is the adobe of spiritual perfection and spiritual strength.

~ Balabhadra Stotra Kavaca

The importance of hearing from a pure devotee

2009-07-29T12:46:00.004-04:00

(Photo from caitanya.org)

"My dear Lord, You are glorified by the selected verses uttered by great personalities. Such glorification of Your lotus feet is just like saffron particles. When the transcendental vibrations from the mouths of great devotees carries the aroma of the saffron dust of Your lotus feet, the forgetful living entity gradually remembers his eternal relationship with You. Devotees thus gradually come to the right conclusion about the value of life. My dear Lord, I therefore do not need any other benediction but the opportunity to hear from the mouth of Your pure devotee."

Srimad Bhagavatam 4.20.25

Early morning darshan

2009-07-06T11:14:00.005-04:00

With Your sweet, sweet smile

The tilt of Your hips

Your kind lotus eyes

The bamboo flute at your lips

Early in the morning

Without Your mukut in Your hair

Free of Your ornaments and all the fanfare

...

Just a sweet, simple cowherd boy

That is how I love you best

Ksiracora Gopinath - The thief of sweet-rice...and hearts

2009-06-29T00:22:00.005-04:00

I just realised that despite being here for two full years, this is my very first post about the deities in Toronto. Admittedly when I arrived here I expected to feel some kind of instant connection to the deities...I felt that way in South Africa with Radha-Radhanath, Nitai-Gaurahari in Lenasia, Krsna-Balarama and Radhe-Shyam in Vrindavana. Instead, upon my first darshan of the deities I felt nothing . Well, perhaps thats an exaggeration! I knew it was Krsna and so I felt respectful. But that was about it.

Then I travelled to Detroit and Montreal and, especially in Montreal, found myself deeply attracted and attached to those deities. And my lack of feeling for Radha Ksiracora-Gopinath began to bug me - to the point where I wrote to my Guru Maharaja, freaking out a little bit. He explained that its natural to be more attracted to certain deities, but if I were to do some personal service for Them then my attachment to Them would grow.

Living in Kitchener and now Milton hasn't quite allowed any kind of regular deity service, but in these two years I've been fortunate enough to be involved in Bhaktimarga Swami's dramas. And even though it wasn't personal service - I was not preparing an offering for the Lord, or setting Their jewellery, or even wiping the altar floor - but it was still service that I did for Their pleasure.

And somewhere along the line, I lost my heart to Them. Perhaps it was the long, tiring hours of rehearsals where Their darshan, and knowing that it was for Them that we worked so long and so hard, were the two things that kept me going; or maybe it was on a quiet day, chanting japa before Their beautiful forms. I don't know when it happened...I'm just glad that it did.

This Gopinath is not just a sweet-rice thief, he is a stealer of hearts. If you're lucky, He will steal your heart immediately. Or it may take longer. But one way or the other, without even realising it, He will definitely steal your heart.

A Sweet Lullaby...

2009-06-02T18:46:00.001-04:00

Isn't this just so beautiful? You can listen to more of Manjari's sweet bhajans and kirtans here

Syamasundara, a deity of the heart

2009-05-02T12:19:00.003-04:00

The deities of Syamananda Pandita in Vrindavana, Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara, are among my favourite deities in Vraja. This deity is said to be manifested from Srimati Radharanis own heart. Krsna has the most enchanting smile and He is always, always beautifully and opulently adorned.
The last time I was in Vrindavana during Kartik I would make a trip everyday to this temple after the morning program at the Krsna-Balarama mandir ended. Here I would spend an hour or two chanting extra rounds or reading, before heading off to the Radha-Damodara temple just a short walk away.
It's special being there on any ordinary day, but during Kartik, its extra-special. Radha-Shyamasundara, specifically Shyamasundara, is dressed according to His different pastimes - one day He is dressed as a female bangle seller, fully equipped with a basket of sparkly bangles on His head, another day He is dressed as a mendicant devotee of Shiva, with snakes around His neck and arms, and yet another He is disguised as a gopi or demigoddess. There were some days when I wasn't sure what the pastime was exactly (my understanding of Hindi is sketchy at best), but still, it was sweet to have Their darshan.
The devotees have done a great job with the temple website , where you can read about the history of the deities and have Their darshan. Below is a photo of Shyamasundara taken during Candana yatra.
"Dear Lord, when You appear in Your different incarnations, You take different names and forms according to different situations. Lord Krsna is Your name because You are all attractive; You are called Syamasundara because of Your transcendental beauty. Syama means blackish, yet they say that You are more beautiful than thousands of Cupids. Kandarpa-koti-kamaniya. Although You appear in a color which is compared to the blackish cloud, because You are transcendental Absolute, Your beauty is many many times more attractive than the delicate body of Cupid"
~Krsna Book

Will you make Krsna smile today?

2009-05-01T11:24:00.008-04:00

My new mantra is "Love and Devotion." I chant it as I cook, begin my japa, dress the deities or offer an arati. "Love and devotion Syamesvari, love and devotion," I chant in my head as I heat the oil or ghee, as I pick out turban pieces or set the arati tray. There are so many things I try to do for Krsna everyday, big and little, quick or time-consuming, but how many of them do I do in the right mood? How many things do I do with a loving 'This is for Your pleasure Krsna, not for my benefit' attitude? Hardly anything, I'm ashamed to admit. I do things out of habit, out of obligation, or for the selfish reason of getting rid of bad karma and hopefully ending my time in the material world. But without those two all-important ingredients - love and devotion - really, what benefit am I gaining anyway? Inattentive chanting is not nearly as potent or beneficial as attentive chanting is, so similarly, devotional service without the devotion is not nearly as sweet or as meaningful to me, or to Krsna.

If it weren't for seeing first-hand what real devotional service is, I wouldn't be aspiring after it myself. There are some amazing vaisnavas who are eagerly and purely serving the Lord, their hearts full of surrender and genuine affection for Krsna. These devotees are my role-models and their association makes me want to be a better devotee.

Of course simply chanting 'love and devotion' does not bring about those feelings. Like Srila Prabhupada once said, 'Chanting water, water, water does not quench your thirst.' But just as chanting 'water, water, water' reminds you of water, makes you meditate on it and possibly hanker after it, my 'love and devotion' mantra reminds me of what the real point of rendering any service to the Lord is.

Sivarama Swami gave a class some time ago entitled "Will you make Krsna smile today?" The introduction to that class reads : Srila Prabhupada explains that making the Lord smile by our pure devotion is the conclusion of all spiritual practices and the essence of Vrndavana life.

So now I realise that the aim is not merely to do something devotionally related to get it done - it is to make Krsna happy and make Him smile. And with no other motivation than bringing a sweet smile to Krsna's lips, performing even the simplest of tasks, like peeling potatoes or washing puja items can become our most devotion-filled tasks and we will gain the greatest benefit and satisfaction.

Will you make Krsna smile today?

Attract Krsna's Mercy!!!

2009-04-28T09:36:00.007-04:00

I get a lot of amazing e-mails from a devotee in South Africa, Mother Cheron. Sometimes I don't have the time to read them, and many of them remain unopened, or half read, as I go off to study or chant my rounds or cook etc. But the heading of this e-mail 'Attract Krsna's mercy!!!" really got my attention, and not just because of the three exclamation points (although that certainly contributed!) After all, isn't that one of our important goals in Krsna Consciousness, to attract Krsna's attention and mercy? I have heard Bhakti Caitanya Swami say several times in class that when we go before the deities, it is not so that we can see Krsna, it is so that Krsna can see us, and see what we have done to increase our love and devotion for Him. In this excerpt from Kadamba Kanana Swami's class, he tells us how we can attract Krsna's mercy, and when we next stand before Krsna and Srimati Radharani, maybe Krsna will take special notice of us because we have made an extra endeavour to do things with more love and devotion.

* * *

"We should perform our service with love but we are not able to. Is it within our reach to love Krishna? Or is it granted by Krishna? It is always granted by Krishna. It is a gift from Krishna and it depends on Krishna’s mercy. The mercy of Krishna is causeless, so Krishna may give to whomever He likes - although one can do something to attract the mercy of Krishna because Krishna has a heart. So Krishna is full of appreciation. It is said that when Draupadi was going through that experience of Dushasana trying to pull her cloth, at that time she surrendered to Krishna and she called out " He Govinda". And Krishna later said that "Whenever I remember how Draupadi just surrendered unto Me, in My heart My appreciation for her is increasing." So Krishna deeply appreciates and feels enlivened by the service of His devotee. Thus devotional service can attract Krishna. And this is what we keep in mind. We may not have love for Krishna, but devotional service to Krishna can attract the mercy of Krishna."

~ H.H Kadamba Kanana Swami

* Thank you Cheron mataji for all the nectar you send my way :)

A rite of passage

2009-04-20T12:24:00.005-04:00

(Srila Prabhupada giving initiation)

For many, the word initiation conjures thoughts of performing something painful or humiliating in order to be one of the select few of a particular group or society.

In the Hare Krishna movement, initiation is neither painful nor humiliating. It is a sweet and intimate rite of passage that forever connects you to your spiritual master and the guru parampara, all the way up to Krsna Himself.

I was fortunate enough to be a part of an initiation ceremony yesterday, where my husband and I received our second initiation, and where three enthusiastic and very deserving devotees received their first.

I was reminded of the nerves and anxiousness of the moments running up to the actual initiation - will I remember all 4 principles? What if I don't? What if I make a mistake? What is my new name going to be? All these thoughts run through your mind and make your head spin, but then you sit before your guru and he looks you straight in the eyes, and asks what the four principles are that you are vowing to follow for the rest of your life. And in that moment, its just you and him, taking such sacred vows - you vowing to follow those four principles, your guru vowing to take you back to Krsna. There is no moment like it.

I was happy to have been a part of that initiation and be reminded of the vows I took 5 years ago. Bhaktimarga Swami gave first initiation to three devotees, and three couples, including myself, received second initiation. Initially I felt so disconnected. My Guru Maharaja was not there, so I would never share that moment of him giving me the mantras and teaching me how to chant them. And from what Maharaja had told me (after he and Bhakti Caitanya spoke in South Africa), I was under the impression that he would simply e-mail me the mantras. But it worked out very well - my Guru Maharaja sent me a sound file of him saying the mantras, and Bhaktimarga Swami, who is my siksa-guru in every way, taught me, along with his other disciples, how to chant them. So rather than lacking in any way, I felt like I had been given a double-dose of mercy:) I was also glad to take this important step with my husband. We weren`t around for each others first initiations, and rather than just watch the other take their second initiation, we got to do it together.

All in all it was a good day and a very good experience. I pray that I am able to do more and more for Srila Prabhupada`s movement and be better able to serve Krsna and His devotees.

Darshan karo...

2009-04-03T10:53:00.011-04:00

I know, I know...I no longer live in South Africa. Still, I couldn't pass up this opportunity to share the beautiful darshan of Sri Sri Radha-Radhanth and the new deities - Sita, Rama, Laxmana and Hanumana.

Aren't They just lovely??

"To keep the promise of His father intact, Lord Ramacandra immediately gave up the position of king and, accompanied by His wife, mother Sita, wandered from one forest to another on His lotus feet, which were so delicate that they were unable to bear even the touch of Sita's palms. The Lord was also accompanied by Hanuman [or by another monkey, Sugriva], king of the monkeys, and by His own younger brother Lord Laksmana, both of whom gave Him relief from the fatigue of wandering in the forest. Having cut off the nose and ears of Suparnakha, thus disfiguring her, the Lord was separated from mother Sita. He therefore became angry, moving His eyebrows and thus frightening the ocean, who then allowed the Lord to construct a bridge to cross the ocean. Subsequently, the Lord entered the kingdom of Ravana to kill him, like a fire devouring a forest. May that Supreme Lord, Ramacandra, give us all protection."

"In the arena of the sacrifice performed by Visvamitra, Lord Ramacandra, the King of Ayodhya, killed many demons, Raksasas and uncivilized men who wandered at night in the mode of darkness. May Lord Ramacandra, who killed these demons in the presence of Laksmana, be kind enough to give us protection."

~ Srimad Bhagavatam

A year ago today...

2009-03-19T07:56:00.005-04:00

Marriage has exceeded my every expectation. Sure it's hard work at times, but so is anything of value that we attempt. It has been such a rewarding experience.

A big thank you to everyone who made it so special - for helping out, or just by being there.

To my mom, who has been a mom and a dad my whole life...a cooler mom does not exist! Everything I am, become or have is because of you. I hope and pray that I can be exactly the type of person and mother that you are.

To my Guru Maharaja, Bhakti Caitanya Swami, who gave me away and took part in the ceremony as my father, words cannot express my gratitude, love and appreciation. I am eternally grateful to be the disciple of such a wonderful, caring and compassionate spiritual master.

To Indradyumna Swami, who played a part in bringing us together, so many years ago with a garland :) At a wedding, you wrapped a garland around the couple's hands and bathed it with milk. You then said that the girl who caught this garland was guaranteed to marry a handsome, loving, wonderful, Krsna-conscious devotee. Thank you for throwing that garland to me :) I think it was a case of 'From your lips to Gods ears', because here I am married to that handsome, loving, wonderful devotee you promised - a devotee who inpsires me in my Krsna consciousness and pushes me to be a better devotee.

And finally to Bhaktimarga Swami, who supported and guided us from the very beginning. At our wedding you joked that you were 'concerned' that Savyasacin wouldn't find someone he wanted to be with and marry...I'm glad that you no longer have a need to be concerned :) You were hoping that things would work out between us from the first time we met before we even knew we wanted to be together! Your support and encouragement has been a lifeline in our marriage and in our spiritual lives.

And of course, a big thank You to Krsna...without Him, none of this would be a reality. I pray that we can both make You the absolute center of our lives, and that together we can make a difference in spreading Krsna consciousness.

An explosion of colour

2009-03-16T12:57:00.008-04:00

I can hear the raindrops, pitter-pattering on the roof
"Springtime is coming", they sing, "and we are the proof!"
To soft gentle raindrops the snowflakes have turned
And brought with it weather for which we have yearned
A few weeks ago the snow was steadily falling
And with it a wind icy cold, whistling and howling
But with each passing day it gets warmer and warmer
The wind has died down and the air is much calmer
The blankets of snow are melting away
The sun has come out and chased off the grey
The earth may be muddy, but the grass is green
The roads may be slushy, but the air is clean
The tulips are blooming - loud and bright
Daffodils and hyacinths - such a welcome sight!

Radha and Krsna begin Their spring sport
He throws on Her colours once She's been caught
Vermillion and yellow, blue, pink and green
Such an explosion of colour has never been seen
A festival of beauty, of joy and of love
Bursts forth in the colours that fall from above
And just like in Vraja springtime, does bring
A time of devotion - for Krsna we we'll dance and we'll sing

So winter is over and here is the proof -
The pitter-patter of raindrops falling on the roof

- P.S Happy Holi!!

Two merciful cowherd boys...

2009-03-13T10:19:00.012-04:00

...Who are non-different from Lord Gauranga and Nityananda Prabhu.

jaya jaya nityānanda, nityānanda-rāma
yāńhāra kṛpāte pāinu vṛndāvana-dhāma

All glory, all glory to Lord Nityānanda Balarāma, by whose mercy I have attained shelter in the transcendental abode of Vṛndāvana - C.C Adi 5. 200

Who in this world but Nityānanda could show His mercy to such an abominable person as me? Because He is intoxicated by ecstatic love and is an incarnation of mercy, He does not distinguish between the good and the bad.He delivers all those who fall down before Him. Therefore He has delivered such a sinful and fallen person as me. - C.C Adi 5. 207 - 209

"Let me take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Sri Krsna, who has descended in the form of Sri Krsna Caitanya Mahaprabhu to teach us real knowledge, His devotional service, and detachment from whatever does not foster Krsna consciousness. He has descended because He is an ocean of transcendental mercy. Let me surrender unto His lotus feet. Let my consciousness, which is like a honeybee, take shelter of the lotus feet of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who has just now appeared as Sri Krsna Caitanya Mahaprabhu to teach the ancient system of devotional service to Himself. This system had almost been lost due to the influence of time."

- C.C Madhya 6.253-254 (Sarvabhauma Bhattacrya)

Krsna-Balarama

2009-03-05T09:54:00.004-05:00

Krishna whose flower-decorated hair was like a dark cloud glorious in the moonlight, Krishna whose sandal tilaka was like a glorious moon rising in the dark evening sky of His forehead...
- Srila Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur

Divine Fragrances

2009-03-05T09:38:00.004-05:00

"If one asks how it is such divine fragrances came to be, the answer is that mother earth has adopted the scent of Sri Krsna’s body at the time of His bath. When mother Yasoda removes His cloth, allowing it to fall to the ground, the assimilated scent of His limbs, which resembles a mixture of sandalwood pulp, camphor, musk and aguru, is immediately plundered by Prthvi devi, and then distributed to all her associate like the trees, bushes and flowers, who then transmit them to their offspring, the flowers. Each flower, according to its qualification, will receive some portion of this aroma which will then be known as its own bouquet."
Venu Gita by Sivarama Swami

Rumor has it

2009-03-03T10:06:00.010-05:00

sulapani sama yadi vaishnavere ninde

tathapiha nasa paya - kahe shastra vrinde

"Even if some one of the level of the supremely powerful devotee and gunavatara Lord Shiva blasphemes a devotee, he will soon be destroyed. This is the verdict of all the scriptures." (CB Madhya 22.56)

iha na maniya ye sujana-ninda kare

janme janme se papistha daive dose mare

"Sinful people who ignore the above fact and critcize devotees suffer the heaviest of all punishment of providence birth and birth."(57)

anyera ki daya gaura-simhera janani

tanhare o vaisnavaparadha kari gani

"What to speak of others, even the supreme mother of the Supreme Lord Himself , Gaura Simha, was not exempt from being considered an offender of a Vaisnava." (58)

prabhu bale - upadesa kahite se pari

vaisnavaparadha ami khandaite nari

Lord Gauranga Himself replied," I can give instructions on how to eliminate the aparadha (like in the case of Durvasa and Ambarish), but I Myself, even though being the Supreme Lord, am unable to destroy an offense against a Vaisnava." (32)

People have an unnatural enthusiasm for gossip. It seems to make the material world go round.
So it's always unfortunate when gossip, and that material mentality, trickles into our spiritual lives.

There are three sides to the rumor/gossip/criticism issue : the person spreading it or doing the criticising, the person listening to it, and the person who is the target. Usually the recipient of juicy gossip becomes the giver of juicy gossip (it's the way of the gossip parampara :)

If we are the ones responsible for spreading rumors or sharing gossip, we should keep a few things in mind :
- everytime we spread rumors or gossip about other devotees, we actively take away from our time with Krsna and the potency of our Krsna consciousness. There's a reason that the offense 'To blaspheme devotees who have dedicated their lives to propogating Krsna Consciousness' is top of the list and known as the 'mad elephant offense' - It destoys the creeper of bhakti within our hearts.
- everytime we spread rumors or gossip about, or criticise, other devotees, we make a conscious decision to hurt someone else, someone who is a vaisnava and, despite our own feelings about them, very dear to Krsna.
- everytime we spread rumors or gossip, our own reputations are ruined. Our intention may be to malign someone else, and chip away at their reputation, but being known as a gossip does nothing for our own.
- everytime we spread rumors or gossip, we should know that we could be potentially responsible for someone turning away from ISKCON and Krsna consciousness.

Our need to gossip stems from envy, dislike and our own shortcomings as devotees. But sometimes we feel that our criticisms are justifiable, after all "He did this, this and that 3 years ago." But it is stated that:

One should never criticize a devotee for his:

1) Social background;
2) Past sins or faults;
3) Unintentional sin or accidental falldown.

Srila Gaura Govinda Swami gave a brilliant description of the first offense:
"Bhakti-devi completely disappears by committing Vaisnava aparddha. Vaisnava aparddha means to blaspheme, find fault, criticize or speak ill of devotees. Generally, this is done out of fear and enviousness. Vaisnava aparddha takes place where there are fear and enviousness." When Vaisnava aparddha is committed the offender will become very angry with that Vaisnava. He's afraid of that Vaisnava because he is a very powerful Vaisnava. Therefore, he thinks, 'He's making rapid advancement and I'm not making such advancement.' He becomes afraid and envious of that Vaisnava." Fear comes and therefore he criticizes, finds fault, and speaks ill of that Vaisnava. He commits Vaisnava aparddha and becomes angry with that Vaisnava. It is only because of enviousness of that Vaisnava that this hatred and criticism arises. And therefore, he speaks ill of that Vaisnava and concocts stories. The sieve is full of a thousand holes and he's criticizing the needle, 'Hey needle, there is a hole in your back.'"Are you perfect yourself? If you have some defects yourself, then why do you find fault with others? Sages say don't see bad in others, but see the bad in yourself. If you have that nature or tendency to see bad, then see what bad is there in yourself. But see the good in others. "If you find something good in some person, then just accept that. Think, 'Yes, that is good in him. Let me accept that.' Close your eyes on the bad things, and open your eyes to the good things. Paramahamsas never see anything bad. In their vision everything is related to Krsna. Speaking ill of others is a great anartha for the sadhaka who has come to the path of bhajana.

There is a wonderful quote by Srila Prabhupada that applies to this and so many other situations:
"We must know that Krsna is present, and as such we must be careful in our dealings, talking and behaviouir, as we are present before Krsna directly." May 6, 1968
So we should practice - whatever I am about to say, I should be able to say if Krsna were standing right beside me, listening.

***

And if we're listening to, or entertaining any gossip or criticism, then we're pretty much in the same boat as the person we're listening to. As devotees we have to:
- try our utmost not to listen to any gossip - for the sake of our own spiritual lives.
- even if we hear something about some other devotee, we have to be intelligent enough to know that there are always three sides to a story: what A said, what B said and what REALLY happened! And even still;
-we have to be even more intelligent and remain impartial and uninvolved. It is not our job to judge others, especially based on something that we have no actual knowledge or experience of.
-and again, when we listen to or engage in gossip, we can potentially play a part in giving someone a bad experience of the temple or ISKCON. It is our duty to be representatives of Srila Prabhupada and ISKCON, and to always act as such.

So what do we do?

The Srimad Bhagavatm states: "Anyone who fails to immediately leave the place where he hears criticism of the Supreme Lord or His faithful devotee will certainly fall down, bereft of his pious credit."SB 10.74.40

***

And finally there is the person who is the subject matter of criticism or gossip. A person in that position (and I think that we've all been there at some point in time or another) has several options:
- Retaliate with your own criticms and gossip, and become a part of that vicious, bhakti-destoying cycle.
- Defend yourself. My personal thoughts are that, again, you're taking time away from your own spiritual life because of another persons petty issues, and secondly, if people are so small-minded and unintelligent that they choose to engage in gossip and pass judgement, than does it REALLY matter what they think anyway? If anything, it should be lesson that you should choose your association wisely, and associate with those devotees who will further you in your spiritual life.

I remember reading an article some time ago. The devotees approached a gentleman who had been coming to the temple for many, many years and was chanting 16 rounds and following all the regulative principles. They asked him why he hasn't made more of a commitment and taken initiation. He replied, "I see how you treat guests and I see how you treat each other. I would rather remain a guest."

We are all trying to achieve the same thing, serve the same God, reach the same destination. We should try to to help each other out, not bring each other down, so that we all serve Krsna better.

Vanca kalpa tarubhyas ca krpa sindhubhya eva ca patitanam pavanebhyo vaisnavebhyo namo namah
I offer my respectful obeisances unto all the Vaisnava devotees of the Lord. They are just like desire trees whocan fulfill the desires of everyone, and they are full of compassion for the fallen conditioned souls.

That Which Shall Come to Pass

2009-02-28T08:40:00.003-05:00

Recently I was doing some research on the qualities of Kali Yuga for the temples vyasa-puja offering to Srila Prabhupada.
Sukadeva Goswami, in the 12th Canto, lists the qualities that this age of Kali will be rife with.
Not only is it amazing that such specific predictions were made so many thousands of years ago, but it is also frightening that so many have already come to pass and are easily recognisable in our own personal lives and in the world around us.

Sukadeva Gosvami said: Then, O King, religion, truthfulness, cleanliness, tolerance, mercy, duration of life, physical strength and memory will all diminish day by day because of the powerful influence of the age of Kali.

In Kali-yuga, wealth alone will be considered the sign of a man's good birth, proper behavior and fine qualities. And law and justice will be applied only on the basis of one's power.

Men and women will live together merely because of superficial attraction, and success in business will depend on deceit. Womanliness and manliness will be judged according to one's expertise in sex, and a man will be known as a brahmana just by his wearing a thread.

A person's spiritual position will be ascertained merely according to external symbols, and on that same basis people will change from one spiritual order to the next. A person's propriety will be seriously questioned if he does not earn a good living. And one who is very clever at juggling words will be considered a learned scholar.

A person will be judged unholy if he does not have money, and hypocrisy will be accepted as virtue. Marriage will be arranged simply by verbal agreement, and a person will think he is fit to appear in public if he has merely taken a bath.

A sacred place will be taken to consist of no more than a reservoir of water located at a distance, and beauty will be thought to depend on one's hairstyle. Filling the belly will become the goal of life, and one who is audacious will be accepted as truthful. He who can maintain a family will be regarded as an expert man, and the principles of religion will be observed only for the sake of reputation.

As the earth thus becomes crowded with a corrupt population, whoever among any of the social classes shows himself to be the strongest will gain political power.

Losing their wives and properties to such avaricious and merciless rulers, who will behave no better than ordinary thieves, the citizens will flee to the mountains and forests.

Harassed by famine and excessive taxes, people will resort to eating leaves, roots, flesh, wild honey, fruits, flowers and seeds. Struck by drought, they will become completely ruined.

The citizens will suffer greatly from cold, wind, heat, rain and snow. They will be further tormented by quarrels, hunger, thirst, disease and severe anxiety.

The maximum duration of life for human beings in Kali-yuga will become fifty years.

By the time the age of Kali ends, the bodies of all creatures will be greatly reduced in size, and the religious principles of followers of varnasrama will be ruined. The path of the Vedas will be completely forgotten in human society, and so-called religion will be mostly atheistic. The kings will mostly be thieves, the occupations of men will be stealing, lying and needless violence, and all the social classes will be reduced to the lowest level of sudras. Cows will be like goats, spiritual hermitages will be no different from mundane houses, and family ties will extend no further than the immediate bonds of marriage. Most plants and herbs will be tiny, and all trees will appear like dwarf sami trees. Clouds will be full of lightning, homes will be devoid of piety, and all human beings will have become like asses. At that time, the Supreme Personality of Godhead will appear on the earth. Acting with the power of pure spiritual goodness, He will rescue eternal religion.
Srimad Bhagavatam 12.2 1 - 16

Doesn't it make you grateful to be alive in a time when, yes, things are bad, but also really, really good because we have the Sankirtan movement and Srila Prbhupada who are offering us a path out of this material world and the potential suffering it holds?

We have a chance to get out of this material world and go back to Godhead - so lets grab onto Lord Caitanya's lotus feet with both hands and make our way out.

Steppping stones in Ville-Marie

2009-02-19T10:01:00.008-05:00

This Saturday, on February 14th, I celebrated my 24th birthday. Savyasacin planned a trip to Montreal, and I have to say, it was the perfect place to start off a new year.

When I turned 15, Bhakti Caitanya Swami said to me, "Use your birthday as a stepping stone in your Krsna Consciousness." Since then, my birthday has become my new year, a time when I reflect on what has been and what needs to be.

I realise that 24 is not all that old, but since I was a child, somehow 24 signalled that you were officially a grown up. 18 just meant you could drive and 21 meant you could get into certain clubs. 22 and 23 were practice runs for adulthood, and by 24 you should already have the grown-up business down - maturity, wisdom, responsibility and all the other things that come along with being an adult.

24 feels like ages away from 23. Perhaps it's because I got married last year, just after my birthday, and so much has changed in the space of one year. I have changed so much. In this last year and a half, I have dealt with my own set of issues - moving to a new country and dealing with those repercussions, being away from home and my family, the temple in Durban, my friends, Bhakti Caitanya Swami and everything that I was comfortable with. But I've also grown into a relationship that has healed a lot of old wounds, and allowed me to come out of the shell I always thought I was in.
And so, while I'm not sure that I have all the qualities of an adult, 24 has come to mean being more carefree, more playful, more light-hearted and more relaxed. I used to be chronically tightly wound. But learning to deal with all my old issues (thanks to my husband), I've taken a more laid-back, 'its-in-Krsna's hands' approach.

For a few days before, I tried to think of what I wanted 24 to be about. I wanted to use my birthday resolution as a stepping stone in my Krsna consciousness, but I also wanted to be realistic. I didn't want it to turn into a New Year resolution that lasts 3-5 days after January 1st, and then starts to lose its significance with each passing New Year, because you know you're not going to follow them anyway.

It was the morning of my birthday when we left for Montreal and I still hadn't decided. All the way there, I meditated on it. We arrived in Montreal. Still nothing.

Montreal is a beautiful, beautiful city, rich in history and culture, with a charming personality and a warm, welcoming embrace. It doesn't matter whether you're there in the summertime, or in the icy clutches of its snow laden winter, Montreal will always make you feel like there's no other place you'd rather live in.

There's a church around every corner. Over 400 to be more exact. Said Mark Twain, "This is the first time I was ever in a city where you couldn't throw a brick without breaking a church window." And they are all exquisite churches, inside and out.

Below is the interior of the Notre Dame Basilica, founded in 1642, when Montreal was just a village named Ville-Marie, the City of Mary.

Montreal is littered with cafes and restaurants, quaint and modern, and coupled with the sound of French being spoken and

the low rise, equally quaint buildings, you can't help but feel that you're no longer in Canada, but in Europe, Paris perhaps.

Photos by Savyasacin

My resolution inspiration came the next day, on Sunday evening. Not from the beautiful city itself, but from the treasure it houses on 1626 Boulevard Pie-X - Radha Manohar.

As I sat before Them, awed by not only Their height, but Their beauty, I was able to make my resolutions for 24.

1. To let go. To stop stressing and leave everything up to Krsna. And for me to be confident in the choices He makes for me, I need to invest more time and faith in Him. Which I hope to do by:

2. Being more conscientious in my spiritual life. And this extends beyond being attentive with my japa (although this is where it starts), to every other thing I do for Krsna. After so many years, little things like offering arati or doing a bhoga offering has become a habit, or an obligation. I want to be more aware when I'm doing these things, so that I feel more connected to Krsna by doing them. After all, I'm going to do Them anyway, so I may as well do Them right, with my mind on Krsna.

I pray that this year brings me closer and closer to Your lotus feet.

I also want to say a big, big thank you to my husband...he tolerated me when I was a nutcase at the best of times, and had the patience to deal with my spiritual and material issues. The time and effort he puts into his own spiritual life, as well as mine, has made me a more whole person and left me with the inspiration to be a better devotee.

My life may have changed, but it has definitely changed for the better.

Maybe I have grown up after all.

What I miss the most...

2009-02-12T12:41:00.002-05:00

Ecstatic kirtan by my Guru Maharaja.

His inspiring association, kind words, ceaseless compassion and unlimited mercy have altered the course of my life. I pray that I may always have the shelter of his lotus feet.

nama-srestham manum api saci-putram atra svarupam
rupam tasyagrajam uru-purim mathurim gostavatim
radha-kundam giri-varam aho radhika-madhavasam
prapto yasya prathita-krpaya sri gurum tam nato 'smi

I offer my respectful obeisances to my spiritual master for by his mercy I have the hope of obtaining the best of all things, the holy name. By his mercy I have hope of obtaining the shelter of Sri Caitanya the son of Mother Saci and all of his intimate associates Srila Swarupa Damodar Goswami, Srila Rupa Goswami and his elder brother Srila Sanatana Goswami. By his mercy I have the hope of obtaining Mathura Mandala which contains the sacred forest of Vrindaban, and Radhkunda and Govardhan the best of the mountains. And by his mercy I have hope that some day I will attain the service of Shri Shri Radhika-Madhava.

I am the stone

2009-02-04T08:28:00.004-05:00

I love that Canada is surrounded by such great diversity and culture.

I came across this poem last November, posted up on the inside of the bus, as I travelled to an exam. Its quite a different scenario from travelling in a bus in South Africa (which I would probably be too afraid to attempt anyway). But if I did, I would be bombarded by issues on public health, AIDS, immunisation etc. Actually in South Africa, it has its place and plays an important role in educating the many people who take public transport, and did not grow up knowing basic things that a lot of us take for granted.

But it was a nice change, an unexpected bit of pleasantness, taking the bus and being surrounded by Canadian poetry. I would sit on one side of the bus, read the poetry along the opposite side, then switch sides to read the the poetry along the other side. It made a dreary bus trip an enjoyable one.

This is a poem by George Faludy, said to be one of Hungary's greatest poets. He lived in Toronto from 1967 - 1989, before returning to Hungary, and passing away in 2006. It is entitled 'Michelangelo's Last Prayer.'

Your anvil is the earth, and with your right arm

You span the arc of heaven like the sun.

Eight decades on this scaffolding a - lifetime -

I sought a sign of you, but there was none

Under my chisel marble fell to stonedust,

But only torsos, idols would be born.

I found you not, elusive, radiant, sunburst,

Who glowed there pulsing under every stone.

I have myself become an ancient stone block,

Split by vines, a still, curmudgeonly old rock,

But in my soul the old flame yet burns on

How can I shed this flesh that holds me prisoner?

Strike me, if you can love a hoary sinner,

Divine Sculptor, My God. I am the stone.

It's nice to be able to sit in a bus and have a realisation related your spiritual life.

I am the stone - rough, hard, plain, uninspired, uninspiring.

I pray that Krsna, as my Divine Sculptor, can shape me into the type of devotee He wants me to be, the type of devotee I should be.

I pray that I see all my life experiences, whether painful or pleasant, joyful or heartbreaking, as Krsna shaping me, chiseling away at my false ego, my pride and my material attachments; smoothing away my imperfections; carving out a devotee who is worthy of serving Him, not only in this lifetime, but in all my lifetimes to come.

Isolation, Torture, Hope

2009-02-04T08:21:00.007-05:00

Jayadeva prabhu sent me the final version of the painting I used in my migraine post, suggesting that I could replace the unfinished version with the finished painting.

I think its such a great painting, that anyone who's ever had a migraine could relate to, so I thought it deserved a post of its own. Here's what he says about it :

It's a rather symbolic image. The four people on the right symbolizes the people that don't suffer from migraines and that are ignorant to the intense pain and suffering caused by them (hence they have their backs turned to the man curled up on the ground).

The man curled up on the ground in the fetal position obviously represents someone suffering from a migraine attack.

The collage image on the left with the men/soldiers pointing at the prisoner sitting in front of them represents the demigods or material laws of nature sentencing or punishing the prisoner.

The idea is that we are prisoners to the material energy and our karma and at any moment we can be "sentenced" to have to suffer in some terrible way (this way just happening to be through a migraine).

The figure in the foreground is obviously experiencing the pain of a migraine, with stabbing knives into the side of the head. The hooks or rings pulling the mouth open relate to the sensation I used to get of numbness in my lips and gums (for some reason I don't feel that kind of numbness any more when I get them). The figure is reaching his hand towards the blue sky, hoping for relief and salvation from his pain.

The reddish-orange and brown tones symbolize these feelings of pain and intensity of despair and suffering. This painting is actually titled, "Isolation, Torture, Hope".

Thank you prabhu!!

It is what it is

2009-01-30T11:44:00.005-05:00

This is my third and final year of Psychology. I am up to eyeballs in psychology textbooks, notes and assignments and, well, I've had quite enough of the stuff.
I confess to being intrigued by the workings of the human mind. Why do we do what we do when we do it? Many people are interested in having that question answered - maybe to better understand themselves and/or to better understand and help those around them.

I had a very different idea of what my psychology classes would be like when I first began working on my degree 2 years ago. I thought that it would give me a solid answer to my 'why-do-we-do-what-we-do-when-we-do-it' question. It hasn't.

Instead every topic is surrounded by theories - many, many theories - each with limitations, advantages, disadvantages, capabilities, strengths and weaknesses. For a simple topic such as motivation, I have studied at least nine different theories - Maslow, McClellands Needs Theory, Herzbergs two facto theory, the goal setting theory, etc, etc.
There is no one theory that is absolutely correct. No one theory that proves the absolute truth behind different subject matters. Instead one scholar puts forth a theory, it is accepted as the truth for some time, only to have another scholar come forward disputing his/her theory and putting forward his own. Nothing lasts very long in the psychology world.

Actually it seems like a whole lot of speculation.

But it has made me realise and appreciate one thing:
There is only one place we can look to in order to understand the workings of the mind - scripture. There are no theories, limitations or weaknesses to what Srila Prabhupada puts forward in his books. It is what is. Bas. Prabhpada has not taken something from the Bhgavatam, disqualified certain aspects of it and then built upon what was left of it. No. It is what it always has been - the absolute truth.

I know that Sita Pati Prabhu is arguing whether Krsna Consciousness should be referred to as a science, and I'm not nearly scholarly enough to get into that. But whatever it is, I am glad that it is absolute and 'as it is'. No speculation, no attempts at logic, no conflicting theories. Rather it the simple, uncomplicated, deep and meaningful truth.

A festival for the eyes

2009-01-29T09:03:00.002-05:00

The Supreme Personality of Godhead has a cheerful, lotuslike countenance with ruddy eyes like the interior of a lotus and a swarthy body like the petals of a blue lotus. He bears a conch, discus and mace in three of His hands.

His loins are covered by a shining cloth, yellowish like the filaments of a lotus. On His breast He bears the mark of Śrīvatsa, a curl of white hair. The brilliant Kaustubha gem is suspended from His neck.

He also wears around His neck a garland of attractive sylvan flowers, and a swarm of bees, intoxicated by its delicious fragrance, hums about the garland. He is further superbly adorned with a pearl necklace, a crown and pairs of armlets, bracelets and anklets.

His loins and hips encircled by a girdle, He stands on the lotus of His devotee's heart. He is most charming to look at, and His serene aspect gladdens the eyes and souls of the devotees who behold Him.

SB 3.28.13-16

I miss...

2009-01-20T12:41:00.004-05:00

In -20 degree conditions, surrounded by snow and ice, I miss being engulfed by the 30 degree humidity.

I miss hearing people say 'beach' and mean the ocean, not a body of calm, fresh water, with no waves, crabs or rock pools.

I miss the sun!

I miss walking on sea sand, so hot it curls your toes.

After wearing snow boots for the past 2 and a half months, I miss wearing my flip-flops.

I miss the awesome stream of association that is constantly flowing through Durban - Indradyumna Swami, BB Govinda Swami, Kadamba Kanana Swami, Lokanath Swami, Partha Sarathi das Goswami, Kavicandra Swami, Devamrita Swami, Bhakti Caru Swami...the list goes on.

I miss the amazing festivals, oceans of sweetness, that deepened my Krsna consciousness and urged me on to become a better devotee.

I miss my Gurudeva.

And most of all, I miss Their beautiful smiling faces...

*Sigh* Oh to be under the African sun again, at the lotus feet of Sri Sri Radha Radhanath.

Distance and separation have a funny way of making you more absorbed in and attached to that which you are away from.

I'm looking forward to the next time I get to have Their darshan - when next I do see Them, I plan on savoring every single precious moment.

Um, north of which street west?

2009-01-10T13:08:00.008-05:00

I should warn you that this post does not have anything to do with Krsna Consciousness, or my spiritual life.

It is about three things that baffle, boggle and bewilder me about North Americans, specifically Canadians:

1. The use of intersections when giving you an address.

Eg. Yonge and Bloor (I don't even know if those two streets intersect, but I'm just trying to give you an example using two streets I know). Now most Canadian streets go on and on and on. Yonge street, at 1,896 km, is the longest street in the world. So first I have to picture Yonge Street, then I have to picture Bloor (if they do in fact intersect) and then I have to try and figure out where they lie in relation to each other. Not easy.

Streets in South Africa are just not that long. And if we need to guide you to a place, and need to use a landmark, we say, "If you're driving with Woolworths on the left side, its your 3rd right, next to the guy selling vegetables on the street." Now isn't that easier?

2. The use of North, East, South and West when giving directions.

Unless I had a compass permanently in my hand, I just couldn't do it. I mean, don't get me wrong - I know where east is. From my house. Only from my house. So if you put me in the middle of Yonge street and asked me to go South, (if that's possible), well, I just couldn't do it.

I could look at the sun to try and get me bearings, but I'd just be trying to look smart. We watched a performance at Roy Thompson Hall. The ticket described it being "South of King Street West." Need I say more?

3. How they do these things with such ease.

Actually, the fact that I find it impossible to orientate myself this way does not mean that it is a ridiculous method. It just means that they have longer streets to deal with, and have a more convenient way of of dealing with things, which I really admire. However, if you are South African and reading this, you can imagine how difficult and foreign the whole thing is.

But it also means that you could throw a Canadian into the wild, or leave them stranded in the middle of the ocean, and they would use the stars and their internal compasses to find their way home. :)

Drama on New Years Day

2009-01-08T10:09:00.008-05:00

New Remuna Dhama, the temple in Toronto, holds a Prabhupada Festival on the 1st of January every year.
In a lot of temples, either there is a celebration at midnight or on the 1st itself, but rarely both! So it was great to bring in the New Year with darshan of Radha Damodar along with a sweet Guruvastakam kirtan at midnight (in the warmth of the Brampton temple, whilst the Toronto devotees braved the -12 degree iciness during their downtown harinam), and then go on to associate with devotees and chant Hare Krsna later that same day.

We put on a drama, The 8th Boy, under Bhaktimarga Swami's direction. It was an updated version of the first one we put on on Janmastami. Unfortunately technology wasn't really on our side that evening, as the sound came and went as it pleased, and the audience missed some of the best music of the drama. Nonetheless, all the devotees worked really hard, giving up alot of their personal time to work on the drama and I hope that the devotees, along with Srila Prabhupada, were pleased.

Rasa Dance

Trnavarta and Bakasura :)

Kamsa and Putana

Devaki, Nanda and Vasudeva

Oh yes...HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope that it is filled with much devotional service, mercy and love. And if you've made resolutions (I resolved never to make New Year resolutions 6 years ago) I hope that you see them through, and that they make you a better, stronger devotee:)

Photos taken by Yajna Gauranga prabhu.

Real strength is spiritual strength

2008-12-27T09:17:00.011-05:00

For some time now, I have been feeling the need to become stronger in my spiritual life and recapture the zest I had for Krsna Consciousness when I was younger. The changes in the past three years or so have taken a toll on me - going back to university, moving away from the amazing festivals and association in Durban, particularly my Guru Maharaja and trying to adjust to a new country and lifestyle. But beyond that has been my becoming complacent in my spiritual life - a feeling that I have reached my goal - taking initiation. And so, I have not fought as hard as I should to keep myself spiritually inspired, do not read as much as I should to keep my Krsna consciousness ever-fresh and am not as dilligent in my sadhana as I should to keep maya away.

Its a bitter pill to swallow - realising that after 5 years of initiation, I am not a better devotee. Rather than take care of the tiny creeper that was planted by my Guru Maharaja's mercy, I have neglected it, doing the bare minimum to make sure that it grows, albeit not strong and healthy enough to blossom.

And I have felt the repercussions. A feeling of disconnect, a lack of reciprocation, a sense of no longer being the recipient of Krsna's mercy. And if I'm not working for it, not hankering for it, why should I get it? A piece of maha, the Lords garland, some old jewellery - receieving these things in the past felt like such a personal exchange between myself and Krsna. And for the longest time - nothing!

Srila Prabhupada speaks the following words on Lord Nityananda's appearance day in Orissa in 1977:
"On the spiritual strength, the body moves. Suppose you have got a very good car, Mercedes car or Rolls Royce car. But when there is no petrol, how the car will move? It is not possible. There is spirit, petrol spirit. Similarly, real strength is spiritual strength.

That spiritual strength is Balarama. Bala means strength. Therefore we have to take shelter of the lotus feet of Balarama, guru-tattva.
Balarama means guru-tattva. Balarama represents guru. Yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasadah. If we want to understand Caitanya Mahaprabhu, if we want to understand Krishna, then we must take shelter of Balarama.

Nayamatma bala-hinena labhyah. This bala- hinena labhyah, this Vedic injunction, means. Without the mercy of Balarama you cannot understand, you cannot realize your spiritual identification.

So that Balarama comes as Nityananda Prabhu. Balarama haila nitai. Therefore we must take shelter of Balarama. That is... This song has been sung by Narottama dasa Thakura. Nitai-pada-kamala, koti-candra-susitala. If we take shelter of Nityananda Prabhu, then we get peace.

Koti-candra-susitala. Just like in daytime, especially in the summer season, we become very much exasperated. But at night, in the evening, as soon as there is moonshine, we become very much satisfied. All days labor and fatigue is immediately moved. So nitai-pada-kamala, the shade of Nityananda Prabhu's lotus feet, is koti-candra-susitala, as pleasing as one crore of moonshine. One moonshine gives us so much pleasure. So if we want actually peace of mind, if we actually want to be free from this material fatiguement, then we must take the shelter of Nityananda Prabhu.

Nityananda Prabhu is the strength, spiritual strength. And without spiritual strength you cannot approach Krishna. Nayamatma pravaca... Simply by talking nonsense... Nayamatma pravacanena labhyah. If you are a good speaker, that does not mean you'll understand, yourself. Na medhaya: Neither by good brain. Because you have got very good brain you'll understand Krishna-no. Nayamatma pravacanena labhyo na medhaya na bahuna srutena. If you think that you are a very good scholar, university degree-holder, then you'll understand-no. This is not possible.

So we must have spiritual strength. That source of spiritual strength is Balarama, Krishna's next manifestation, prakasa- vigraha. Krishna is manifesting Himself through Balarama. So we have to take shelter of Nityananda Prabhu."

So I have been praying to my deities, to Lord Balarama, to give me spiritual strength. And for the first time in a long time I feel sincere. Or perhaps not sincere, but desperate. Desperate for the strength I need to be sincere. To be enthusiastic. To face the obstacles that stand in the way of being more involved here in this new country and emerge a better devotee for it.

And finally, I feel like I have cried out loudly enough that Krsna has heard me.

After attending Yamuna Jivana and Siobhan's wedding at the Toronto temple on Sunday, too tired to dance, I sat down and enjoyed Bhaktimarga Swami's kirtan.

Mother Caitanya Devi, a sweet, sweet devotee, came up to and put something in my hand. A piece of bark. I looked up at her, a little confused.

"It's from Ekacakra," she shouted over the kirtan. "Lord Nityananda's birthplace." Then she smiled and gave me a few pebbles.

I was awestruck. A small piece of bark and some stones - all I needed to feel re-inspired.

Of course I have a long way to go, but this was just the boost my spiritual life needed.

I am eternally grateful to Lord Nityananda and His dear devotee, Mother Caitanya devi for their kindness.I pray that I may become stronger and stronger in my spiritual life and be truly worthy of the Lords' mercy.

House Guests and Rapping Grannies

2008-12-25T13:13:00.009-05:00

2 days ago we had our very first house guest. Having only half-moved, we were caught completely by surprise when H.H Bhaktimarga Swami was caught in snow and traffic nearby and needed a place to stay.

It was around 9.15 pm when that phone call took place - the house was a mess and we were exhausted from packing and moving earlier that day. We had 45 minutes before Maharaja arrived. We cleaned like 2 energiser bunnies and when Maharaja arrived at 10.15 pm the house was semi-decent. Whew.

Most of our linens were in the other house, but Maharaja and Devadatta graciously accepted what little we had to offer them in terms of comfort.

We all went to bed just before midnight. Savyasacin and Maharaja went on an early morning japa walk, at around 6, and returned at 7.30.

While stuck in traffic the night before, Maharaja said to Devadatta, " They should be living downtown, close to the temple!" but after his walk, experiencing the close proximity of Mount Nemo and the peacefulness of the area, he told us that we should never move :) We're definitely looking forward to having Maharaja over more often.

With that visit, I was re-reminded of Maharaja's humility, kindness, and good-nature.

In South Africa I got to have Maharaja's association only once a year, and now, I'm almost spoilt with it. And Maharaja quickly diminishes any awe and reverence you may have with his kindness and personable manner. But familiarity can creep in and take the edge off the respect we should always have.

So I was glad to be put into some anxiety about his stay with us. It reminded me of times in South Africa when my Guru Maharaja would come over and we would all be in anxiety about making sure everything was just perfect. It shook me up a little and reminded me "This is Bhaktimarga Swami!" Not just any guest in my home, but a dear disciple of Srila Prabhupada, who works tirelessly to spread Krsna Consciousness.

So for once, I was grateful for the snow - it sent a wonderful vaisnava our way and gave my husband and I an opportunity to serve and associate with Maharaja.

As Maharaja was leaving we handed us a CD to try out - The Granny Rapper :)

You can check out her song 'Stuck in a Rut' here. :)

Would you believe that she's Maharaja's god-sister? I think her name is Mandakini dd, from Australia. Maharaja described her as a wonderful devotee.

Go granny!

A little piece of heaven

2008-12-18T10:15:00.017-05:00

This weekend we moved from Kitchener to Milton. We're now closer to the Brampton and Toronto temples.
Half our lives are unpacked in our new house while the other half lies unboxed in the old one.
I never want to move again. Not because it's exhausting (which it most definitely was), but because I think we may have moved to a small piece of heaven on earth.

Milton lies on the Halton Watershed, of which the Niagara Escarpment is the dominant landform. It is an oasis of unspoiled widerness and open green space - perfect for living a Krsna conscious life. Thousands of hectares of conservation lands protect the wild beauty of the watershed, including Kelso, Hilton Falls and Rattlesnake point which are all a 5 - 10 minute drive away. Its the perfect place to just be outside.

We're closer to Toronto, without being in the city itself - 'wilderness without remoteness'.

So while the first half of the move was tiring, it was definitely worth it, because we're surrounded by:

postboxes that look like this:

orchards and farms,

lots of horses,
mountains,

lakes,

streams,

and waterfalls.So really, I have no complaints.

I'm grateful that Krsna has been so kind to my husband and I and given us this opportunity to be closer to nature and live the kind of life we want to.

Thank You Krsna :)

Hair, Glorious Hair

2008-12-08T12:21:00.004-05:00

For the longest time (over 5 years now) I have wanted nice hair for our deities. Not the stiff, scratchy kind I always found in Loi Bazaar, but soft, curling locks of hair. So I'm super-happy that I finally found some nice hair that I was able to make into wigs for Krsna and Balarama.

"He has long, curling hair and He is anointed with many fragrant scents. His handsome crown is decorated with many different flowers. His handsome forehead is splendidly decorated with tilaka markings and curling locks of hair. The playful movements of His raised, dark eyebrows enchant the hearts of the gopis."

So I'm really glad that Dauji Kanaiyalal finally look like the young, sweet cowherd boys that They are:)

Migraines

2008-12-04T14:32:00.008-05:00

I've been getting migraines since the 10th grade. Anyone who has ever had one knows that it's nothing like a regular headache - nausea, aversion to light and noise and throbbing, stabbing pain are symptoms unique to migraine headaches.

In the 11th grade I went through a whole batch of tests - MRI's, CT scans, the works. From these I realised that there were no other causes for my headaches except stress, certain foods, and temperature fluctuations.

It becomes frustrating dealing with migraines on a regular basis. You also get tired of the painkillers that knock you out and do God-knows-what to you liver and kidneys. So after high school, I spent three years studying holistic medicine, especially reflexology. Any kind of medicine that does not include needles or pills is my kinda medicine.

They don't get rid of the pain, but do help ease it for short periods of time. Migraines have played such a big part of my life that I chose it as my dissertation topic for my Anatomy and Physiology class. I thought I'd share...

Here are some natural remedies:
Aromatherapy: Peppermint, eucalyptus and lavender. (Peppermint gel works the best for me.)These can be inhaled, but are best when they're used for massage.

Reflexology: The best thing is to have regular reflexology treatments to detox and balance the body, and a qualified reflexologist will be able to tell you where there are blockages in your body and then adjust your treatments according to your ailments.
One of the great things about reflexology, or acupressure, is that you can do it yourself. Simply walking barefoot is a reflexology treatment in itself -the more varied the surfaces you walk on, the better the treatment!
For migraines and headaches specifically, the big toe (or thumb) is the area that should be treated. It represents the head and neck. So you can just massage or add pressure to these points, so that they are stimulated.

Homeopathic: Sadly, I didn't study homeopathy, but I am taking some homeopathic medication for my headaches. I really couldn't tell you what's in the stuff, but it doesn't taste bad, and it works! Good enough for me!

The most important part of migraine treatment is prevention.

If you know what your triggers are - the most popular being the 4 C's: caffeine, chocolate, cheese and citrus - then avoid them. Other triggers include yeast and MSG.
Exercise: Its probably the last thing you want to do when you're in the throes of a migraine. Some people claim that easing into some mild exercise (a walk or some stretches) helps ease the pain. Endorphins produced during activity are the body's natural painkillers. And it also goes along way toward prevention.
Daily doses of feverfew, a herb that is part of the daisy family, has also been found to help prevent migraines.
If stress is a trigger, then Biofeedback, a relaxation technique used for muscle tension can help. Yoga, or any method of de-stressing that works for you, is also good.
Vitamins: Riboflavin, magnesium, Q10
Diet: The following foods have headache fighting properties:

- Cayenne pepper, Ginger

- Foods rich in calcium: Spinach broccoli and kale

- Foods high in Magnesium: Spinach, pumpkin and squash seeds, okra, whole grain cereal etc.

That's all I can think of right now. And if all else fails, you can do what the Ancient Egyptians did!

P.S. I came across the painting at the top of this post when I googled migraines. Hoping to find something more medical looking, I came across this painting, and was struck by how eloquently it captured the essence of having a migraine. Which is why I used it. What I didn't know was that it was actually painted by a devotee, Jayadeva das. Thank you for allowing me to use it, prabu!

A Pad Thai-ish dish

2008-12-02T17:50:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure what to call this concoction. Its a cross between ribbon pasta and pad thai...thai pasta? ribbon thai?
Whatever its called, it's yum (if I do say so myself!)
My intention was to make some pad thai, but (surprise, surprise) I had no rice noodles. So I substituted with pasta. Not as good as the real thing, coz the pasta soaks up most the sauce - or I just didn't make enough - but if anything, it offers another alternative to my regular pasta and tomato sauce.
Especially yum with roasted cashews :)

Have a break

2008-11-24T22:26:00.004-05:00

For the last month or so I've been offline. Swamped with exams, a bout of the flu and a couple of migraines I didn't have the time or the inclination to switch the computer on. I also deactivated my Facebook account - also referred to as Facebookicide (Really!) The Urban Dictionary gives the following meaning:

1. That act of deliberately terminating your Facebook profile by permanently deleting yourself from the Facebook site.
2. Also more commonly know as Virtualicide. Due to the rise of Facebook it was imperative that a direct term was coined. Hence the term Facebookicide.

Oh my God! Did you hear what happened to Jimmy? He finally wised up to the fact that Facebook was stealing his private information and committed Facebookicide! I noticed he's no longer listed in my Entourage pix list and my "friends" list dropped to 697 from yesterdays all time high of 698. A group of us did a site search and it's turned up nothing...

Wow that's horrible!

Yes, it must have happened last night while I was checking my Myspace/Bebo/Hi5/noLife accounts.

I so sorry. Did you know him well?

No, not really.

Which sums it up pretty well actually!! And I have to say...It feels very liberating. I'm not sure whether its permanent, but for now, I'm enjoying the break.

After being consumed by studying and exams so completely I'm trying to get back into the swing of things - easier said than done. I haven't been to dance class in over a month and honestly, I'm having to dig really deep to find the inspiration to get going again...even worse, I'm not really bothered that I'm not inspired. Exams really have a way of sucking the motivation out of you.

On the other hand, while the inclination to write and dance are not very strong, I'm enjoying being a homebody and reading a lot more, sewing new deity outfits and making new jewellery. Better than nothing, I guess...

Snow, snow go away...

2008-10-29T07:06:00.003-04:00

At one a.m when I looked out the window I saw that it was snowing. Steadily.

Another reminder that Dorothy is no longer in Kansas.

Seriously though - last year was my first 'snow-experience' and after living in hot, humid Durban all my life, it has become my least favourite. Although to be specific - the snow I love. It's beautiful, and soft and so pure looking. It's the icy cold that comes with it to which I am less inclined.

So you can imagine my dismay when I looked outside and saw a mini winter-wonderland. "The leaves haven't even all fall off yet," I argued with it.

In Durban it has rained on Diwali almost every year. Naturally this puts a bit of a damper on peoples firework activities and their spirits, but a devotees once said that it rains so that the earth can be washed and cleansed for Lord Rama's return.

I guess in Canada things don't happen in halves. Why rain when it can snow?

Laksmana! Where is my bow?

2008-10-27T16:56:00.006-04:00

When I heard my Guru Maharaj tell this pastime in Durban some years ago, it really stuck in my mind. Of course, if you've ever heard Bhakti Caitanya Swami tell a pastime, you'll know that it's quite an experience. Indradyumna Swami once said that nobody tells a story the way Bhakti Caitanya Swami tells a story. Spellbinding and captivating, with a sprinkle of humour. And of course there is the British/New Zealand/South African accent that gives it just the right touch of charm.

The following verse is from Rupa Goswami's Padyavali. It does not mention it specifically in the text, but according to my Guru Maharaja, this verse comes from a bedtime story Mother Yasoda was telling her little boy. And as He listened, Krsna became so caught up remembering His Rama-lila that He could not help His outburst.

ramo nama babhuva hum tad-abala siteti hum tam pitur
vaca pancavati-vane nivasatas tasyaharad ravanah
krishnayeti puratanim nija-katham akarnya matreritam
saumitre kva dhanur dhanur dhanur iti vyagra girah pantu-vah

“There once was a king named Rama.”
“Yes.”
“His wife was Sita.”
“Yes.”
“On the order of His father, Rama lived in the Pancavati forest. There Ravana kidnapped Sita.”
As Lord Krishna heard His mother narrate His own activities performed in ancient times, He suddenly called out: “Lakshmana! Where is My bow? Where is My bow? Where is my bow?” I pray these alarmed words of Lord Krishna may protect you all.

Padyavali, Text 151

I really love this pastime. It is amazing how Krsna can make Himself so available to His pure devotee - to put Himself in a postion where He engages so personally and so sweetly. To think - the Supreme Personality of Godhead, slayer of demons, needs a bedtime story to help Him fall asleep! It makes Krsna so much more loveable and, well, real.

Somehow, when I think of Krsna's pastimes, I never think of anything outside '9-5', so to speak - I just think Krsna wakes up, herds the cows, kills some demons, has some pastimes with Radharani and then returns home, just so it can all begin again the next day. But this proves that so much goes on before He can even go to bed! Krsna's pastimes really are an ocean - an unlimited ocean of sweetness.

It's Diwali today and so this pastime came to mind.

More than ever I am aware that I am no longer in South Africa.

Outside of India, South Africa has one of the largest Indian populations. So Diwali is celebrated in a big way. As people prepare to welcome Rama back from His exile, and into their homes, children get new clothes, pujas are conducted in homes and temples, sweets are made and swapped amongst neighbours, family and friends; diyas adorn driveways and doorways and fireworks go off until the early hours of the morning. It's the South African Diwali tradition.

Its not quite the same in Canada. I haven't seen or heard a firework, what to speak of an actual Indian person today!

But I realised that it goes beyond the fireworks and new clothes. Krsna and Balaram are dressed in new outfits and crowns, They were offered a puja and something sweet and the diyas are burning as we speak. Now my husband and I have started a tradition of our own - one that will grow as our family does, and I am happy about that. It may have been a quieter Diwali, but it was also sweet and intimate.

So it doesn't matter where in the world I may be, the fact is that today is the day that Rama returns from His exile, and I am able to celebrate that - not quite the same way I did when I was in South Africa or India - but I am celebrating all the same.

Welcome back Lord Rama:)

May very fragrant Radha Kunda be my shelter

2008-10-21T10:10:00.011-04:00

Today is the transcendental appearance of Radha-Kunda in the material world, known as Bahulastami. I was in Vrindavana one year and went to Radha Kunda with Deena Bandhu prabhu and his parikrama party on Bahulastami. It was crazy-hectic, jam-packed and a little overwhelming, dealing with so many thousands of people. People in India have perfected the art of pushing - although in Vraja it's forgivable, even understandable - as they're usually pushing you around in their eagerness to have darshan of their Lord. But still - for a Westerner, who's not as adept at pushing people around, especially physically, it can be a little unsettling.
But then you finally get to the banks of Radha Kunda and descend the steps to get as close to her as you can. Somewhere in the distance you hear Aindra's kirtan amongst so many other kirtans, lamps and marigolds float by on the water, the air is sweet with incense, and all is right with the world. More than right. Time stands still and it is perfect.

This is the desription of Radha-Kunda's appearance:

When the inhabitants of Vrindavana heard that Krishna had killed the terrible Aristasura demon (who appeared in the shape of a bull) they all rushed to the spot in a jubilant mood. Srimati Radharani and Her girlfriends also arrived at the scene and upon hearing that Krishna had killed a bull, became very upset and refused to associate with Him. Krishna pleaded with Radharani that since Aristasura was actually a demon in the disguise of a bull, there was no sin in killing him. Radharani informed Her beloved Syamasundara that in order to purify Himself from cow-killing, He would have to take His bath in all the holy places of the universe and then only would She associate with Him again. Krishna agreed to Radharani’s proposal, but instead of taking the trouble of traveling to all the holy places in the universe to take bath, Krishna informed Her that He would instead call all the holy places in the universe to Vrindavana.

Striking His heel into the ground, Krishna made a very large impression and then called all the holy places of the universe to pour their sacred waters in to the newly-made kunda.
One by one all the holy places arrived in their personified forms. Offering their prayers to Krishna they all poured their waters into the kunda and filled it up. Just to please Radharani, Krishna took His bath in the newly formed kunda that then became celebrated as Syama-kunda.

Exhibiting transcendental arrogance in having created such a beautiful pond, filled with the sacred waters of all the holy places in the universe, Krishna began teasing Radharani and the gopis. He said that because they were only simple village girls they must have never performed any religious duties in this world for the pleasure of the demigods. Krishna also informed them that because they sided with the demon Aristasura, in the form of a bull, they would have to share the sin of cow-killing, and must also take bath to purify themselves.
Feeling the pinch of Krishna’s joking words, Radharani suddenly exhibited Her transcendental anger and seeing a deep impression of Aristasura’s hoof print nearby, broke one of Her bangles and using it as a digging instrument, started to dig in the soft earth. Upon seeing this, the gopis also broke their bangles and started digging. Within a short time a large kunda had been created right next to Syama-kunda.

Krishna was amazed to see the large pond that Radharani and the gopis had created and made an offer to Radharani that the sacred waters from His kunda could also fill Hers. Radharani flatly refused Krishna’s offer, saying that the waters of Syama-kunda were now contaminated due to the sin of cow-killing. She further said that Her many girlfriends would form a line and bring pure waters of the Manasi-ganga in golden pots to fill her kunda.
Upon hearing the words of Srimati Radharani, the holy places personified approached Her with folded hands and while chanting beautiful prayers in glorification, humbly asked Her to grant them a boon. Radharani inquired what kind of boon they desired. The holy places personified informed Her that their lives could only be successful if they were allowed to pour their sacred waters into Her kunda also. Being ever compassionate to all those who sincerely approach Her, Radharani while glancing at Syamasundara through the corners of Her eyes, happily agreed to their proposal. In a joyous mood the holy places personified forcibly broke through the banks of Syama-kunda and poured their sacred waters into Radha-kunda.

Krishna then immediately took bath in Radha-kunda and declared that henceforth, anyone who with firm faith took a bath on that day in Radha-kunda, would achieve the same ecstatic love that Radharani had for Him. Radharani and Her girlfriends then took bath in Syama-kunda. Radharani declared that anyone who takes bath in Syama-kunda would achieve the same ecstatic love that Krishna has for Her.

This pastime occurred at 11:45 pm on the eighth day of the waning moon in the auspicious month of Kartika. Each year on this day, thousands of devotees flock to Radha-kunda for the ardha-ratri-snana (midnight bath). First they bathe in Syama-kunda and then again in Radha-kunda. This festival, held on the appearance day of Radha-kunda is known as Bahulastami. Radha-kunda is the only place in the world where a holy bath is taken at midnight.

SRI RADHAKUNDASTAKAM
(Eight Prayers Glorifying Radhakunda)

vrsabha danuja nasan narma dharmokti rangair
nikhila nija sakhibhir yat sva hastena purnam
prakatitam api vrndaranya rajna pramodais
tad ati surabhi radhakundam evasrayo me

May very fragrant Radhakunda, which, prodded by the gopis' many joking words after Vrsabhasura's death, the king of Vrndavana forest happily built and filled with His own hand, be my shelter.

vraja bhavi mura satroh preyasinam nikamair
asulabham api turnam prema kalpa drumam tam
janayati hrdi bhumau snatur uccair priyam yat
tad ati surabhi radhakundam evasrayo me

May very dear and fragrant Radhakunda, which for one who bathes in it immediately creates in the land of the heart a desire tree of pure love rare even among the gopi beloveds of Lord Krsna in Vraja, be my shelter.

agha ripur api yatnad atra devyah prasada
prasara krta kataksa prapti kamah prakamam
anusarati yad uccaih snana sevanubandhais
tad ati surabhi radhakundam evasrayo me

May very dear and fragrant Radhakunda, where, yearning to attain the merciful sidelong glance of His queen, Lord Krsna, diligently follows Her bathing attendants, be my shelter.

vraja bhuvana sudhamsoh prema bhumir nikamam
vraja madhura kisori mauli ratna priyeva
paricitam api namna yac ca tenaiva tasyas
tad ati surabhi radhakundam evasrayo me

May very fragrant Radhakunda, which is named after a girl who is a realm of love for He who is the moon of Vraja, a girl who is like the most precious jewel in the crown of the sweet girls of Vraja, be my shelter.

api jana iha kascid yasya seva prasadaih
pranaya sura lata syat tasya gosthendra sunoh
sapadi kila mad isa dasya puspa prasasya
tad ati surabhi radhakundam evasrayo me

The mercy obtained by serving Radhakunda makes the celestial vine of pure love for the prince of Vraja, which is famous for bearing the flowers of service to my queen, sprout. May that very fragrant Radhakunda be my shelter.

tata madhura nikunjah klpta namana uccair
nija parijana vargaih samvibhaj yasritas taih
madhukara ruta ramya yasya rajanti kamyas
tad ati surabhi radhakundam evasrayo me

May very fragrant Radhakunda, on the shores of which are many splendid and charming forest groves filled with the sweet sounds of bumblebees and each named after one of Sri Radha's friends, be my shelter.

tata bhuvi vara vedyam yasya narmati hrdyam
madhura madhura vartam gostha candrasya bhangya
prathayati mitha isa prana sakhyalibhih sa
tad ati surabhi radhakundam evasrayo me

May very fragrant Radhakunda, on the shore of which, in a pleasant courtyard Queen Radha and Her friends sweetly joke with Lord Krsna, the moon of Vraja, be my shelter.

anudinam ati rangaih prema mattali sanghair
vara sarasija gandhair hari vari prapurne
viharata iha yasmin dam pati tau pramattau
tad ati surabhi radhakundam evasrayo me

May very fragrant Radhakunda, where the passionate divine couple daily plays with Their passionate friends in the charming lotus scented water, be my shelter.

avikalam ati devyas caru kundastakam yah
paripathati tadiyollasi dasyarpitatma
aciram iha sarire darsayaty eva tasmai
madhu ripur ati modaih slisyamanam priyam tam

To one who is completely dedicated to Queen Radha's service and who happily reads these eight beautiful verses describing Her lake, even in this present body Lord Krsna shows His beloved as He happily embraces Her.

A full moon night...

2008-10-14T17:11:00.009-04:00

Traditionally, on the first day of Kartik all the deities of Vrindavana are dressed in white. Not just the deities at Krsna-Balarama Mandir, but throughout Vrindavana - Radha Ramanji, Radha Gopinath, Banke Bihariji...

I have heard Deena Bandhu prabhu say that this is because it is a full moon night, and when Radha, Krsna and the gopis dress in white, it allows Them to move through Vrindavana, to the site of Their rasa dance, undetected by their husbands and elders.

I thought it might be nice to follow that tradition - even though I am thousand of miles away from Vraja:) So tonight, should Dauji and His younger brother wish to steal away for some night-time pastimes, it is less likely that They will be caught by Jatila or Kutila, or any of the others who would give Radha and Krsna a hard time :)

Kartik is my favourite time of the year - for many devotees, I imagine it is the same. Krsna seems so much more accessible, and we're all inspired to take advantage of that. Usually devotees make some kind of vrata - a special endeavour to increase their devotion.

Kartik has officially started and I'm still fumbling around for a meaningful, devotion-altering vrata. I feel a little out-of-sorts, being in the middle of my year-end exams (psychology and business management constantly swimming around in my head) where simply maintaining my current not-high-enough standard of devotion is a bit of a struggle.

Nonetheless, Kartik does only come around once a year. I have heard my Guru Maharaja and others refer to Kartik as a sale - a devotional sale, with Krsna's mercy as the goods. And unfortunately, or fortunately in this case, I am not one to overlook a sale of any kind :)

Hopefully, by the end of the night I will be a little more decisive about this vrata, and participate in and take full advantage of this once-a-year mega sale!

A Canadian Fall

2008-10-09T20:04:00.005-04:00

An early morning japa walk turned into a leaf-picking expedition, that evolved into a photography session. I am in awe of Autumn right now.

In South Africa, particularly Durban, the leaves turn brown and then drop off, all rather unceremoniously.

But here in Canada, it is as if the Demigod of Seasons (and surely if there are 33 million demigods, there MUST be a demigod of seasons:) has used the trees as his (or her) canvas, and painted the leaves using red and orange paint, in every possible shade the two colours may create.

Burnt oranges, rusty reds, golden yellows. I think the photos do a better job of portraying the variety of rich and vibrant colours fall has produced.

Coming from a country where the seasons blend into each other unnoticed, where one day can produce 4 seasons, it's a pleasure to be in a place where each season comes with its own unique characteristics and mood. Fall, with it's crisp, cool air and warm colours, seems a time to be outdoors, to be thoughtful, creative and meditative, a period of winding-down after a fast-paced summer. It inspires those things in me, at least.

And while it does precede my least favourite Canadian season, I am determined to take advantage of the rest of it's good qualities.

There is a beautiful description of autumn in the Krsna book, full of wonderful analogies:

"Everything becomes naturally beautiful with the appearance of the autumn season. Similarly, when a materialistic person takes to Krsna consciousness and spiritual life, he also becomes as clear as the sky and water in autumn. The autumn season takes away the rolling of dark clouds in the sky as well as the polluted water. Filthy conditions on the ground also become cleansed. Similarly, a person who takes to Krsna consciousness immediately becomes cleansed of all dirty things within and without. Krsna is therefore known as Hari. "Hari" means "he who takes away." Krsna immediately takes away all unclean habits from anyone who takes to Krsna consciousness. The clouds of autumn are white, for they do not carry any water. Similarly, a retired man, being freed from all responsibility of family affairs (namely, maintaining the home, wife and children) and taking completely to Krsna consciousness, becomes freed from all anxieties and looks as white as clouds in autumn...Because of the appearance of the autumn season, the water of the ocean becomes calm and quiet, just as a person developed in self-realization is no longer disturbed by the three modes of material nature...During the daytime in autumn, the sun is very scorching, but at night, due to the clear moonshine, people get relief from the day's fatigue. If a person takes shelter of Mukunda, or Krsna, he can be saved from the fatigue of misidentifying the body with the self. Mukunda, or Krsna, is also the source of solace to the damsels of Vrndavana. The damsels of Vrajabhumi are always suffering because of separation from Krsna. When they meet Krsna during the moonlit autumn night, their fatigue of separation is also satiated. When the sky is clear of all clouds, the stars at night shine very beautifully; similarly, when a person is actually situated in Krsna consciousness, he is cleared of all dirty things, and he becomes as beautiful as the stars in the autumn sky...During autumn, the moon looks very bright along with the stars in the clear sky. Lord Krsna Himself appeared in the sky of the Yadu dynasty, and He was exactly like the moon surrounded by the stars, or the members of the Yadu dynasty...In Vrndavana the autumn season was very beautiful then because of the presence of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krsna and Balarama."

My Sweet Lords

2008-10-08T13:48:00.002-04:00

Dauji Kanaiyalal turned 5 this month. Everyday, I am so grateful that They were kind enough to allow me an opportunity to worship Them. I pray to remain forever at Their lotus feet.

An offering to one of the most ecstatic dancers

2008-10-07T11:13:00.004-04:00

This was written by my Guru Maharaj, H.H. Bhakti Caitanya Swami, on the occassion of H.H. Bhaktimarga Swami's Vyasa Puja which we celebrated this Sunday.

Dear Bhakti Marg Maharaja,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

It is a great pleasure and privilege to be able to share this wonderful occasion with you, even though indirectly.You are one of my very dear Godbrothers. I appreciate so much how you're dedicated to serving Srila Prabhupada in creative ways - walking across Canada and organizing the most ecstatic dramas. Through both of these activities you've attracted the attention of so many people, and brought them to Krishna consciousness in greater numbers than so many other senior disciples of Srila Prabhupada. So are definitely very successful in your presentation of Krishna consciousness.

You're really an exciting devotee, and you're making a very big difference in the lives of so many devotees, and endearing yourself so much to SrilaPrabhupada by doing these things.

You're also one of the most ecstatic dancers in the Krishna consciousness movement. Despite not being a young man you dance better than practically anyone half your age. This is because you transcendentally relish the holy names and get a wonderful spiritual taste from them. From this we can see that you're chanting completely without offences.

I'm looking forward to getting more and more of your association, and seeing how you help transform South Africa. Please continue to be kind to me, and give me your association.Hoping this meets you well.

Your servant,

Bhakti Caitanya Swami

4 am japa meditation - sweet lotus feet

2008-10-06T11:20:00.004-04:00

Lying on a banyan leaf

You suck on Your sweet little toe

How very sweet Your feet must be

For even the Sweetest finds it so :)

O Mukunda (Krishna), I pray that the lotus flower of Your face, which is filled with the flowing nectar of Your splendid smile and the sweet fragrance tasted by the great swanlike devotees, and which delights the bumblebees of the gopis' eyes may grow in the lake of my heart.
Govinda Virudavali, Rupa Goswami

A fall feast...fit for a guru

2008-10-04T08:32:00.011-04:00

charades:)

the kirtan that had our neighbour complaining...

Yesterday afternoon, Bhaktimarga Swami came over to our home, along with Devadatta, Yamuna Jivana, his wife Siobhan and their lovely dog Teddy.

Since Maharaj eats sabji, rice and chapatis everyday at the temple, he thought a change would be nice. So did I...and in keeping with the season, prepared a fall feast. All of it locally grown, some of it organic.

It was also Yamuna Jivana's birthday, so a cake was definitely in order. Now, I am no baker. My last attempt (my husband's birthday cake) was hellish from start to finish - batter on the walls (it took forever to clean) and a cake that crumbled after...I even forgot it in the oven a couple of days later and it melted when I turned the oven on high grill. Right. Not very inspiring, I can promise you.

So I baked the cake the night before, lest anything disastrous occur. And it actually turned out pretty good. I am now officially inspired to do more baking.

Right back to the menu...

- 3 bean fall soup (with squash, asparagus and celery)

- herbed bread

- Tortilla triangles, filled with tofu, spinach, peppers and zucchini (an idea I stole from Remuna's

program:)

- Grilled herb potatoes, with feta

- Corn on the cob

- Green salad, with avocado, roasted pines and an orange dressing

- Banana lemon cake - with a orange, lemon, grapefruit jam mixed into the icing.

- Fresh watermelon juice (for which my husband must get the credit)

The soup was the official hit of the party. Even though I cooked enough for 10 people - Maharaj, Devadatta, Siobhan and Yamuna Jivana finished it in one sitting :) That was the ultimate compliment.

I simply have to mention that my husband was phenomenal - he stopped me freaking out which I tend to do on a regular basis when cooking for more than 4 people, stirred things when I couldn't and took care of everything outside the actual cooking. If that meal was at all a success yesterday, he can take a lot of the credit.

After lunch, we watched the 'King and I'. There was a scene Maharaja was after, to incorporate into his new drama 'The Eighth Boy', but we ended up watching the whole movie (skipping over the songs, of course). What a great movie! I'm not one for old movies, especially musicals, but this was fantastic - the sets, the costumes, the dialogue, all of it. Maharaj pointed out that it's very sattvic and Vedic in its approach.

After a rousing Kirtan, Maharaja read from Krsna book 'Charades Style' , where he acted out certain words and we had to fill them in. That was fun. Then he read some bits from his walking diary, written in Ireland.

Afterwards, we snacked on Vanilla ice-cream with fresh blackberries and strawberry sauce. And I have to mention Madan-Mohan prabhu's almond cookies which were soooo addictive, we munched on them all through class.

Maharaj arrived just after 3 and it was nearly 10 by the time he left. Despite having gone to bed at one that morning, being on our feet all day, and exhausted by the time he left - it was totally worth it. The exhaustion, aching feet, cuts and burns - all of it. Its such a great blessing to have the association of such saintly persons in our home, and to be able to serve them.

Maharaj is so comfortable to be with, he relates everything to Krsna, makes everyone feel so welcome and inspires us in our service with the dramas.

And so it will be a pleasure, and an honor, to celebrate his Vyasa Puja tomorrow. And in true Bhaktimarga Swami style, he will be walking from the Toronto temple, leaving just after the mangal arati, to the Brampton temple, 24 km's away, where his actual Vyasa Puja will be held. So, if you're around, come take a walk with the walking monk.

Keeping me connected - correction

2008-09-28T21:49:00.017-04:00

I've just realised that the link I posted up doesn't quite work, so here's an easier way of getting to it :

It's under the audio section of Iskcon Desire tree (which you can find a link to on the side); Bhajans and Kirtans - Western; Daily temple program; Daily temple program by Lokanath Swami at Krishna Balaram Mandir. Enjoy!!

I love it for three different reasons

1. Its my favourite song - Vibhavari Sesa

2. It's Lokanath Swami (need I say more)

3. It's always great to hear a kirtan that glorifies Krsna-Balarama when They're right infront of

you

4. And it just makes me feel like I'm right there at mangal arati in Vrindavana again - it comes complete with conch shells and devotees glorifying the Lord as the curtains open.

Yes, I know that's 4 reasons...so correction: I love it for four different reasons :)

At this time of year though, its bitter sweet. So many friends and devotees are getting ready to go to Vrindavana for Kartik, and this is my 3rd year with no Vrindavan, and my 5th with no Kartik in Vrindavana. Sigh.

It's time I worked on that, I reckon. I feel the need for a spiritual recharge that only Vrindavana can offer. From now on, I'm going to take extra special care of my Tulasi Devi's and pray super, extra hard that she allows my husband and I back into Vrindavana.

"Vrindavana is completely under Vrnda-devi's grace. Without the mercy of Vrnda-devi, it is not possible to enter into the confidential pastimes of Radha and Krishna, not even as a listener in an audience. By the mercy of Vrnda-devi even the impossible can become possible. Even being allowed to enter Sri Vraja Mandala indicates that one has received the grace of Vrnda-devi"

Appreciating Sri Vrindavana Dhama

Nonetheless, I am looking forward to Kartik. It is such a sweet time of year, no matter where in the world you might be. But until that time comes when I can be back in Vrindavana, Lokanath Swamis' kirtan is keeping me connected:)

A lesson from dance class

2008-09-28T20:02:00.003-04:00

tan-nāma-rūpa-caritādi-sukīrtanānu-
smṛtyoḥ krameṇa rasanā-manasī niyojya
tiṣṭhan vraje tad-anurāgi janānugāmī
kālaḿ nayed akhilam ity upadeśa-sāram

"The essence of all advice is that one should utilize one 's full time - twenty-four hours a day - in nicely chanting and remembering the Lord 's divine name, transcendental form, qualities and eternal pastimes, thereby gradually engaging one 's tongue and mind. In this way one should reside in Vraja and serve Krishna under the guidance of devotees. One should follow in the footsteps of the Lord 's beloved devotees, who are deeply attached to His devotional service."
Nectar of Instruction, Text 8

Nectar of Instruction is one of my favourite books - its so concise and to-the-point. Srila Prabhupada's last lines of the preface read "...but Upadesamrita constitutes the first instructions for neophyte devotees. One should follow these instructions very strictly. Then it will be easier to make ones life successful. Hare Krsna."
I've been re-reading the Nectar of Instruction and I particularly like this 8th verse, which is like the essesnce of the essence, which makes it, well, essential. Lame attempt at a play on words aside, it made me look at my spiritual life and think "Practically, how can I utilize all my time and make myself stronger in my Krsna consciousness?" Lately chanting my rounds has not come easy. When I had an interesting development (or breakthrough) with my Odissi dancing, I realised that what I learnt in that situation, could easily be applied to my spiritual life, and make the instruction above possible to follow (apart from the living in Vraja part).

I went to a dance class last week after a month. Ordinarily, I would have found this daunting. But in the four weeks between my classes I had been working out at the gym, doing yoga, pilates and a bit of tai-chi. I was also taking some time out each day to practice my foot work (pada sadhana). So when I finally went in to my dance class, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my stamina had increased, and dance class was actually a pleasant experience, as opposed to a breathless, clock-watching one. Don't get me wrong - its not that I am suddenly perfect, but arranging my activities to support my dancing has made me physically stronger, for sure.

This experience can be applied to anything - but especially to my spiritual life. Pure devotional service is what every devotee is aspiring for - to remember Krsna, His pastimes and qualities at every moment, so that when his last moment approaches, it is Krsna that is on His mind and in his heart. Reading, cooking, offering arati, chanting, praying and serving the devotees, this is the yoga, pilates and tai chi of my devotional life. All these things build my devotional stamina - so that when I am chanting my rounds it's a pleasant, meaningful experience as opposed to a clock-watching, mind-wandering one:)

Sometimes with my chanting, as it is with my dancing, its hard to feel inspired. No matter how deep I dig, I can't quite find the enthusiasm to practice either. There are times when I feel like its just not possible to start Odissi at my age, that my body is too stiff and set in its ways. And when I feel this way - as easy as it is to give in and to give up - I look for inspiration. I think of all the classical dancers that inspire me - usually that means looking at photos of Odissi dancers in graceful and captivating poses. Recently, it has meant thinking back to the dance performances I witnessed by Anapayini and her girls from Alachua, at the Toronto Rathayatra. Their performance left me feeling inspired and hopeful - that if I was determined and disciplined enough, I had a good shot at being half decent.

Similarly, when inspiration is lacking in my devotional life, I look to those devotees who fill me with hope, admiration and faith. Sometimes its personalities like Narottam das Thakur, sometimes Srila Prabhupada, at other times my guru and other disciples of Srila Prabhupada and sometimes its a devotee I may only hear about, but never meet. But the result is the same - when I think of these vaisnava's and vaisnavi's I see the end result of faith, determination and enthusiasm - happiness and contentment at Krsna's lotus feet - and it inspires me to follow in their footsteps.

"A devotee should...always engage in the remembrance of Sri Krsna and His beloved associates. By following in the footsteps of such associates and by entering under their eternal guidance, one can acquire an intense desire to the serve the Supreme Personality of Godhead."
Rupa Goswami, Nectar of Devotion

So thank you to all the devotees who inspire me in my devotional service, simply by being so inspired in theirs.

Whats in your pantry?

2008-09-28T11:59:00.005-04:00

I always imagined that when I got married, I would be one of those women who effortlessly threw together fabulous meals at the drop of a hat, without breaking a sweat (kinda like how Sabjimata [whose yummy things, I might add, I drool over on a regular basis] did just the other day...http://sabjimatajam.blogspot.com/2008/09/spread.html) But alas, so far NOT so good.

I've decided that creativity is not the problem, but lack of resources (and laziness to correct the lacking state of resources) is. When recipes call for certain ingredients that I do not possess, I toss it aside and look for something more Syamesvari's-pantry-friendly. It almost never happens. If I'm super inspired (or forced) to cook something that calls for ingredients I don't have, I'll make the effort to get it, buy just enough for the recipe and feel rather drained after all that effort (Yes, I'm lazy - but we've already established that, haven't we?)

Divine intervention has provided me with a list entitled "The Very Basic Pantry" in the Vegetarian Times. Compared to this, my pantry is sorely lacking. Anyhoo, all thats about to be changed. We buy fabulous, organic vegetables at the St Jacobs Market and its about time I did justice to them. And it all begins with a well-stocked pantry:

1. Whole grain breads such as sandwich and artisan breads, tortillas

2. Rice - brown rice, basmati rice, wild rice, jasmine rice

3. Whole grains - barley, bulgur, quinoa, millet, rolled oats

4. Pasta, preferably whole grains

5. Whole grain flours - whole wheat flour, whole wheat pastry flour and other favourites

6. Unbleached all-purpose flour

7. Legumes - Kidney beans, black beans, cannellini beans, chickpeas, lentils and other favourites

8. Condiments - Soy sauce, Tahini sauce, dark sesame oil, peanut oil

9. Sweeteners - Honey, granulated sugar cane juice, confectioners sugar, brown sugar

10. Vanilla, almond and lemon extracts

11. Baking soda

12. Baking powder

13. Arrowroot, cornstarch or other thickeners

14. Vegetable oils - olive and canola

15. Salt - sea salt, black salt

16. Peppercorns - whole for freshly ground pepper

17. Herbs and spices - thyme, marjoram, parsley, cinnamon, bay leaves

I doubt that I'll use some of these things - like granulated sugar cane juice, and millet and barley - so I may hold off on those items; but there are few additions of my own that I'd make to this list:

- Buckwheat flour

- Buckwheat noodles

- Indian spices - jeera,garam masala, ground coriander, hing etc

- Semolina

- Sun dried Tomatoes

That's all I can think of for now...hope this helps any other new bumbling wives out there :)

Feel free to make any additions...especially if you have more experience in the kitchen than I do (which pretty much means anyone;)

On this day 6 months ago...

2008-09-19T12:20:00.011-04:00

Nitya Taranginis' Gallery on Krsna.com

2008-09-18T17:30:00.003-04:00

For those of you who haven't checked it out yet - go to Krsna.com to see Nitya Tarangini dd's amazing artwork. I love it! It's bold, cute, colorful and dreamy all rolled into one. I have two left hands when it comes to being able to draw or paint (or do anything creative in that field), so I have great respect for those who can - and who do it so well!

Check it out at http://www.krishnamedia.org/ImageFolio/ImageFolio.cgi?direct=Nitya_Tarangini

Malpura for Radharani

2008-09-08T09:20:00.005-04:00

I have heard that Malpura is one of Srimati Radharani's favourite sweets. It is made every year at the Durban temple for Radharani's pleasure on Her appearance day. Of course, spoiling Srimati Radharani with Her favourite sweet doesn't have to be a yearly event :) Here's a recipe...

Malpura

Sweet Dumplings in Fruit Yogurt

PREPARATION AND COOKING TIME: 40 mins

YIELD: approx 45

Mix and set aside for 15 minutes:
1 cup white/powdered sugar;
2 cups ripe crushed berries or fruit;
Add to 2 1/2 cups wet yogurt and set aside;

Mix to a thick batter that clings to a spoon and let rest for 15 min:
1 1/2 cups self-raising flour;
1 cup powdered sugar;
1/2 tsp baking powder;
1/2 cup milk;
1/4 cup yogurt;

Spoon into ghee until golden brown (3-4 min). Should be crisp on outside and cooked but soft on inside;
Drain and add to yogurt;
Refrigerate for 30 mins before serving.

"All glories to Radharani! She is so dear to Krsna. Everyone is trying to love Krsna, but Krsna is trying to love Radha. Just imagine how great She is? Krsna prema is so valuable, but Krsna is after Radharani. She is so great. We have to offer Her our respects". (Srila Prabhupada)

September 1st...Happy Spring Day South Africa !

2008-09-01T09:29:00.006-04:00

bṛhat-sāma tathā sāmnām
gāyatrī chandasām aham
māsānām mārga-śīrṣo 'ham
ṛtūnām kusumākaraḥ

TRANSLATION
Of the hymns in the Sāma Veda I am the Bṛhat-sāma, and of poetry I am the Gāyatrī. Of months I am Mārgaśīrṣa [November-December], and of seasons I am flower-bearing spring.

PURPORT
… Of course spring is a season universally liked because it is neither too hot nor too cold and the flowers and trees blossom and flourish. In spring there are also many ceremonies commemorating Kṛṣṇa's pastimes; therefore this is considered to be the most joyful of all seasons, and it is the representative of the Supreme Lord, Kṛṣṇa.

Out with the old...in with the new

2008-08-26T10:26:00.004-04:00

The old altar

The new altar

I know that I no longer live in Durban, but Sri Sri Radha Radhanath will always be the deities closest to my heart. The new altar was unveiled on Janmastami morning, and I can only imagine the anticipation and joy at that moment. The devotees had been waiting several months to see the deities on the altar again.

It's beautiful...really, really beautiful and I can't wait to be back in SA to have darshan.

Dear Srila Prabhupada...please may I hold on to your dhoti?

2008-08-26T02:09:00.003-04:00

At the end of one lecture Srila Prabhupada told the devotees, "If you become 90% Krishna conscious, you will go back home, back to Godhead." Looking out into his audience, he saw that the devotees looked crestfallen. So then he said, "If you become 80% Krishna conscious, you will go back home, back to Godhead." Still the devotees expressed doubt that theycould become even 80% Krishna conscious. So then Srila Prabhupada said, "Ok,70%," and then the devotees responded with a big Jaya! But as Srila Prabhupada was returning to his quarters, another devotee expressed concern that he would not be able to become even 70% Krishna conscious. So then Prabhupada said, "Ok, you just hold on to my dhoti. I have the key to the back door."

Narrated by His Holiness Giriraja Maharaja

Balaram Purnima

2008-08-18T08:40:00.012-04:00

August is my favourite month. Its full of birthdays, special birthdays. My grandfather who brought me to Krsna Consciousness on the 7th; my spiritual master, Srila Bhakti Caitanya Swami on the 14th; my husband Savyasacin on the 2oth; and my two most favourite boys - Krsna and Balarama.

In 2005 I spent Balarama Purnima and Janmastami in Vrindavana. What an unforgettable experience! Nothing, NOTHING, compares to singing Vibhavari sesa in a crowded temple room on a cool Vraja morning with Krsna and Balarama right in front of you on their respective appearance days, nothing comes close to the sweetness of Aindra's kirtan during the abhisheka and really, theres nothing quite like the ecstatic 'haribol" or "Jai Jai Sri Radheeeee Syam" that goes up every time the altar is opened to reveal the deities in Their beautiful new outfits.

I was fortunate enough to be a part of a team of about 3 or 4 ladies who made Gaura Nitai's flower outfit. Its three years after the fact, and I still have the glue gun burn on my arm to remind me of that good fortune. Heres a picture of Gaura Nitai in that outfit:

In all honesty though, as happy as I was to be engaged in that service, it was really Krsna Balarama's outfit that I wanted to work on. And when 4:00 was getting dangerously close, I was handed Krsna/Balarama's pants to cover in jasmine buds...such is Vrindavan that Krsna fulfills all your desires:)

This Saturday morning, we started our day off with Vibhavari Sesa; I dressed the deities in Their Balarama purnima outfit; and we made an offering of fresh, organic blackberries, strawberries, nectarines and bananas, as well as fresh carrot, beet and cherry juice made by Savyasacin (surprisingly yummy). We made a trip to St. Jacobs that morning, predominantly a Mennonite community, where people have stalls selling everything you can imagine - the freshest veggies, the most wholesome fruit, beautiful flowers among other things...most of it grown themselves and sold at a really good price.

Its also just an interesting experience being there - just 15 minutes away from where we live, the Mennonites are simple people who don't believe in the use of modern conveniences like electricity, they dress simply - women in plain long dresses and bonnets, men in suspenders over their shirts and pants, and produce almost all of the goods they consume themselves. Its not a rare sight in St. Jacobs to see people travelling in their horses and carriages. Its a pleasant trip back in time, where life is simple and peaceful.

Back to Dauji-Kanaiyalal, here they are:

This is our new altar. Actually its a bookcase we got at a really cool furniture store on Yonge Street. Bhaktimarga Swami came over on Saturday and he really liked it.

We got flower lights at IKEA (another great find for this South African) and wound them around the altar, so this is what it looks like at night...really cosy and intimate.

Yesterday, Dauji Kanaiyalal made their way to the Brampton temple (pictured at top) for the second part of their birthday celebrations. Since moving to Kitchener we've been going to the Brampton Temple - it lies between Kitchener and Toronto, so its much closer. While it is a smaller community of devotees, I was overwhelmed by how welcome they made us feel. The devotees really treat each other like family, and they all work hard together to make things work. We're really fortunate to be a part of that community. And of course its a bonus that there are about 7 or 8 South African devotees there:)

This is a sweet pastime from Ananda Vrindavana Campu:

"Haladhara (Balarama, the holder of the plow) looked extraordinarily elegant moving with His own group of young gopi consorts. One golden earring enticingly danced on Balarama's cheek and His eyes rolled from drinking varuni. With His dark blue caddar half falling off His camphor white chest, Baladeva looked like the white moon breaking through the darkness. For some time, Baladeva, who is a talented artist, danced to the beat of songs in carcass and dvipadika. Appearing like the personification of bliss, Balarama sang, laughed, and threw kunkuma powder on His beloved gopis, as if sprinkling the sindura of love on their foreheads. Backed by the vina, Baladeva loudly sang a song in dvipadika. Then in a joking mood, He threw colored powders on the restless-eyed gopis. Balarama mixed with His many gopi group leaders and their companions in the same way that Krishna enjoys with His gopis like Radhika, Lalita, Candravali, Syama, and Bhadra.

Krishna meanwhile defeated the gopis' long-standing pride of their singing skill by playing sweetly but indistinctly on His flute. The gopis responded by surrounding Krishna and dousing Him with kunkuma while their bangles jingled joyfully. While tolerating the showers of kunkuma, Hari hung His head down submissively like the best of youthful, intoxicated elephants, and continued playing His flute song in carcari tala. As Krishna playfully moved with heroic steps, He met with Balarama who rambled about like an intoxicated elephant along with His own group of enraptured young gopis. These gopis, who were completely attached to Balarama, gazed at Him with tender eyes, conveying their affection for their beloved consort. Lifting their bangle-laden arms, they sang according to the beat and sometimes induced Balarama to sing along. While their ankle-bells tinkled in time with the nimble movements of their feet, the gopis danced beside their beloved Balarama, and threw kunkuma powder on His body with great delight.Understanding the hints from Krishna's glances, the cowherd boys bombarded the gopis with red, white and yellow scented powders. Balarama's gopis ran away fearfully. Seeing their condition, Krishna smiled and mocked them by playing merrily on His flute. Krishna's gopis laughed along in sweet tones. While clapping their hands with a strong beat and bellowing "Ho! Ho! Hee! Hee!"; Krishna's friends filled the four directions with robust laughter.His anger and passion enflamed, Rohininandana, roaring like a wild young bull elephant suddenly spurred to competition, chased Krishna's companions to defeat them with a deluge of powders. Glancing forwards and backwards like lions stalking prey, Krishna's girlfriends desired victory. But losing their intelligence, they could not decide whether to attack or to retreat, so they all ran away.

When Krishna's gopa friends counter-attacked Baladeva, He laughed as He squeezed them in His strong, snake-like arms and covered them with colorful powders. In the pleasure of playing, Krishna's cowherd boyfriends lost all sense of awe for Baladeva, as they shouted at Him with contorted faces. Being very strong, they managed to get free from Baladeva's grip. Gathering in a group, they fearlessly retaliated with a volley of vermilion flower bombs. Though defeated, Baladeva remained fearless.Krishna, bathing everyone in the glow of His soft, sweet smile, said, "What you have done is not right. I do not like it. It is ungentlemanly to gang up on My brother who is all alone."

Hearing this, all the boys calmed down. Moved by the emotions of comedy, pride and anger, Baladeva's complexion assumed a ruddy hue to appear like a diamond pillar embraced by red lotuses. The majestic form of Balarama shone like a huge crystal bud reflecting the red jaba flower, or like a proud pinnacle of ice touched by the pink of early dawn. Baladeva looked as elegant as a mountain of white lotuses covered by a forest of pink lotuses inhabited by cakravaka birds. He looked like a full moon anointed with vermilion, glowing in the red evening sunset. Seeing Him thus, Balarama's gopis surrounded Him and amused Him with blissful singing and dancing as they wandered off together."

Ananda Vrindavana Champu

All glories to Lord Balarama!!

The Rainy Season

2008-07-30T13:06:00.003-04:00

This morning I awoke to grey skies, a few flashes of lightning, the occasional rumble of thunder and the gentle pitter-patter of rain. Rain has been a common occurrence of late.

In Montreal it rained on the second day of Rathayatra and in Toronto it POURED on both days.

This has been Ontario's wettest Summer. Now usually, I'm not a big fan of rain. In Durban rain = cold. But here, the temperature remains moderate, even warm, so that you want to have the windows and doors open so you can hear the raindrops falling to the ground and enjoy the fresh, sweet, clean smell that comes with it. Getting soaked with rain in Durban = a cold for the next two days, while here its almost a welcome means of cooling down.

All this rain has made me think of Kavi Karnapuras description of the rainy season in Vrindavana. Here's a small excerpt, filled with the most beautiful imagery:

'Krsna went to the forest to tend the cows and play various sportive games in the company of Haladhara (Balarama) and the cowherd boys. Upon entering the forest they met the fortunate goddess of the rainy season. Seeing the beauty of the rainy season personified as a heroine, Krsna remarked, "Aho! Look what a wonderful sight!"

Krsna saw the goddess of the rainy season pervaded by a lusciously sweet fragrance from wearing the pollen of Kadamba flowers. The swarms of bumblebees darting through the air were her provocative glances cast at Krsna. She wore effulgent, attractive blue garments in the form of freshly formed, glistening rainclouds. The gentle rumbling of radiant rainclouds filled the forest with the sweet sound of her elegant voice. She offered newly sprouted barley grass as a bed for Krsna's pleasure. This colourful green bed of fresh grass defeated the beauty of a collection of the brightest emeralds.

The millions of indragopas (tiny red insects) crawling over the ground coloured the delicate lotus feet of that goddess of the rainy season with an effulgent red lac. A row of splendid restless cranes adorned her throat as a pearl necklace. The fanned tails of the dancing peacocks comprised her beautiful hair. The fragrant air blowing by the arjuna trees laden with sweet flowers formed her pleasant breath.

Her gentle, enchanting face was moistened with tears of tiny raindrops. Erect petals of bright yellow kadamba flowers formed her hairs that stood on end due to a rarely perceived ecstasy. She eagerly awaited to offer Krsna a fragrant garland made from the tiny malati flowers on her dangling creepers. Her restless eyes lowered out of respect and timidity when she offered her services to Krsna.

As an expert maidservant, she made wonderful garlands to decorate the whole forest of Vrindavana with an abundance of fragrant flowers. Overflowing with love and affection for Krsna, she desired to serve the Lord in various ways. Her bodily complexion reflected the fresh, dark blue rain clouds decorating the sky. Thus the goddess of the rainy season pleased the entire world with her sweetness.

Just as one gets relief from the scorching heat of summer by taking the proper medicine, similarly, all the living entities in Vrindavana felt delighted with appearance of the refreshing rainy season...What more can I say about the beauty of the rainy season in Vrindavana which brought supreme satisfaction to the playful prince of Vraja?"

Nameless no more!

2008-07-22T13:05:00.003-04:00

So I've found a name for my blog!!! Yay!

I've spent the past few days thinking about how my life has changed in the past few years - taking initiation, travelling to India, going back to university, meeting my husband, getting married, moving away from South Africa - and how it continues to change - moving to a new continent and into a new home, taking up Odissi dancing, going to a new temple, being married!

It has been a journey. A journey that was sometimes tiring, sometimes uplifting, sometimes slow and at other times a little too fast. And then I thought that yes, a journey is all well and good, but a journey that leads nowhere is nothing but a waste of time. And so I hope that everything that I am doing right now, and everything that I wish to do in the future (dance, travel, write, serve), will take me on a journey back to Godhead, back to Krishna's lotus feet. Back home.

And so, I've decided to call this blog, chronicling my journey through life (not always timeously, or well), 'pratyagati', which is Sanskrit for 'journey home'. Perhaps this lifetime is only one part of many more parts of my journey, but it is a journey nonetheless.

Pratyagati...

p.s

2008-07-17T14:30:00.002-04:00

There are kirtans that get my feet tapping, there are some that make me close my eyes and think of Krsna, and there are some that just take me to another place...not the spiritual world directly, but to a place where I was joyous, immersed in Krsna consciousness and inspired.
And that place is Sri Vrindavana Dham...and that kirtan is a kirtan lead by Ananta Govinda Prabhu at the 24 hour Kirtan at New Vrindavana.

Now I wasn't at the festival, but I came across some of the kirtans on http://www.krishna.com/en/node/1241. They're all great, but the first kirtan listed, reminded me not of any particular kirtaneer in Vrindavana, but just of BEING at the temple in Vrindavana. The melody, the flute, the devotees chanting along...when I haerd it I felt like I was back at Krsna-Balarama mandir, I felt the heat, I smelt the incense and roses from the garlands, I could just see Radhe-Shyam, Gaura Nitai, I could hear the cows mooing in the distance, someone shouting 'Radhe!', I could hear the bell chiming the time, feel the cold marble beneath my feet, feel myself being shoved by the locals in their eagerness to take darshan...sigh...bliss.

Just thought I'd share...among those kirtans listed you're bound to find something that transports you...maybe not to Vrindavana, but somewhere special, that inspires you to think of Krsna.

What's in a name?

2008-07-17T14:02:00.002-04:00

So, I've decided a name change is in order...for two reasons:
1) Originality (Kripamoya prabhu's blog is called The Vaisnava Voice and while they are simultaneously similar and different, I think a change is needed :)
2) How pompous of me to call and consider myself a vaisnavi!

So those are my reasons. Although what I'm actually going to call my blog is beyond me...I chose A Vaisnavis Voice because it was meant to convey that this was my voice, my words, my opinions...Syamesvari's voice? Too boring!

Anyways...we'll see. Inspiration will come (I hope). I'm thinking too hard about it right now, so nothing meaningful is going to come to mind. I'm just going to put it aside and hopefully, no definitely, something authentically me will come to mind. For now, its going to be Syamesvari's Nameless Blog :)

On a different note, Rathayatra is in full swing in Canada. Last week Savyasacin and I made the trip down (or up - I'm still not completely clued up on Canadas geography) to Montreal for the festival. And in two days Lord Jagannath will have His festival here in Toronto.

Drama rehearsals are in full swing. We were meant to do the Gita, but a number of devotees had to drop out, so Maharaja has opted to do 'Vamana'. We were meant to have a full week of rehearsals, but Monday was spent reassessing the situation, on Tuesday Maharaja was with the Bus Tour for a performance they put on in Ottawa and last night was our first night of REAL rehearsing.
Maharaja has switched alot of the roles around, allocating Them to different actors "for fun" (his words). And while fun is not the first word that comes to mind, it definitely makes things interesting and a little difficult...I played Diti and now I'm playing Aditi, and I have two days to get it down. Fun? Again, not the word thats coming to mind...but still, I think it'll be okay. More than okay. There's one thing I have faith in and that's Maharaja's ability to get this done - and it'll be a rip-roaring success (isn't it always?). Maharaja has such a sincere desire for this to be a success and he has such a great ability to make actors out of us, that it should be a piece of cake.

But let me not get ahead of myself.
Ok that's all for now...I'll write back and let you know just how much fun we all had after Rathayatra.

Toronto Rathayatra

2008-07-09T09:29:00.005-04:00

ratharudho gacchan pathi milita-bhudeva patalaih

stuti-pradurbhavam prati-padam-upakarnya shadayah

daya-sindhur-bandhuh sakala-jagatam sindhu-sutaya

jagannatha svami nayana-patha-gami bhavatu me
When Jagannatha's Ratha-yatra cart is moving along the road, at every step assemblies of brahmanas sing His praises. Upon hearing them, Jagannatha, being an ocean of mercy and the true friend of all the worlds, becomes favourably disposed towards them -- may that Sri Jagannatha-deva be the object of my vision.

Jaganath, Baladev and Subadra Maharani have had Their snana, and are currently tucked away while They recuperate from the cold They caught :) The pujaris are taking extra special care of Them and by next week Saturday, They will be ready to give the whole of Toronto Their darshan :)

Heres the website for Torontos Rathayatra, if you need more info:
http://www.feedyoursoul.to/tunnel

When my husband and I first met, he told me that the 'tunnel' is what makes Rathayatra in Toronto unique. Now I can't describe it much, because this is going to be my first time experiencing it, and I would not do justice to this ecstatic experience. But if I had to imagine...one low lying bridge/tunnel, thousands of people and a very ecstatic kirtan...that's enough to whet anyones appetite!

And if you're around, don't forget the Montreal Rathayatra up this weekend!! Tis the season of Rathayatra in North America, and taking full advantage of the Lords darshan and mercy is a great idea!! If you need some inspiration :

" By seeing the most merciful form of Lord Jaganath, mainly recognisable by His two large round eyes, one will make rapid spiritual progress and gain instant purification."

"If anyone follows the Rathayatra cart when the Deities pass in front or from behind, even if He is born of a lowly family, he can achieve opulence equal to that of Vishnu."

"By engaging in dancing and chanting, one can uplift ones soul beyond all meditations."

Jai Jagannath!!!

How wrong is this???

2008-06-27T12:09:00.002-04:00

This was done at a certain point in the US election campaign, meant to depict how Clinton and Obama were neck and neck...I have no words.

Going green, Dancing and more drama

2008-06-18T10:18:00.017-04:00

In the spirit of the upcoming dramas and Rathayatras (more about that in my post), I've included some shots my husband took for Bhaktimarga Swami at this years Durban Rathayatra of Age of Kali.

KALI

LUST

ILLUSION

MADNESS

KALI AND HIS MINIONS :)

This is one of those "whole-lotta-things-crammed-into-one' posts.

The next few weeks are going to be crazy - but good crazy (I hope). I'll have to wait a while before my semester exam results are out, and start my new semester in two weeks or so.

I'm really looking forward to the Montreal and Toronto Rathayatra - my first :) And I'm even happier because we'll be doing a drama with Bhaktimarga Swami :) I've been doing dramas in South Africa at the Rathayatra for about 8 years now - sometimes I would yearn to not be involved; to be able to go the classes and other festivities...to be one of the crowd. But when I got my opportunity this year (because of our wedding being two days before), well, it just wasn't the same. To be a part of Rathayatra rather than just at Rathayatra makes it a deeper experience for me. So, I'm really glad to be a part of the Toronto Rathayatra this year.

My husband and I met with Maharaj last week. It was great to see him after nearly two and a half months. Its always great to have Maharaj's association. He's so down-to-earth, real and good humored. I think if it wasn't for him, making me feel so welcome, and engaging me in service, I'd feel pretty lost here in Toronto. Anyhow, apart from arranging things for our week of intensive rehearsals after the Montreal Rathayatra, we spoke about so many different things - subsistence farming, the tastelessness of North American fruit, some politics and the need to go green. Incidentally, while waiting in the dentists office earlier that day I came across a great website http://www.greenissexy.org/. It was created by Rachael McAdams (The Notebook) and some friends, and it's actually pretty cool.

Other than that, we're meeting with Maharaj on Friday night to start working on the 'The Gita' drama. The bus tour is doing Kunti and Karna, so theatrically, it promises to be a great Rathayatra. My husband played Karna in Mayapur and Toronto and I played teenage Kunti some years ago, so it'll be great to be able to enjoy it and appreciate it as an audience member this time around. 'Here comes the sun....'

My dance class on Saturday was pretty interesting. But note to self - try to avoid dance class on Nirjala Ekadasi. 'Nuff said. Still, dying of thirst aside, it was great. When I stepped into her studio, the first thing I saw was Jaganath, Baladeva and Lady Subadra on an altar. That, coupled with the fact that one of the first things she said to me was "You have to know the sentiment behind Odissi if you are going to dance - it is Bhakti, devotion for Krsna, Jaganath", inspired me throughout, kept me going when my thighs threatened to give up and my throat dried up.

The one thing I'm glad about is that she's going at a faster pace with me, because I have some dance experience. Although in my slightly out-of-shape condition, maybe that's NOT such a good thing :)

To Odissi or not to Odissi...that was the question

2008-06-12T15:38:00.006-04:00

I'm celebrating the end of my exams with my first Odissi dance class :) YEY!!!!

Tomorrow is my last exam - Psychology, which I'm not particularly looking forward to. And it signals the end of one more semester...which means that I'm one semester closer to graduation and a degree...another yey!

For some time now my feet have been itching to dance again...to feel the hard wood beneath my feet, hear them thump against the floor, feel the beat of the music, feel my muscles ache occasionally...sigh...what bliss. But I wasn't sure which direction I wanted to go in - continue with Kathak, which is my first love and passion, or bharatnatyam which I enjoyed a lot less; or try something new...like Odissi.

Now some people may think that there isn't much difference between Odissi and Bharatnatyam...but there is. Odissi dancers use the tribhangi stance (like Krsna's three-fold bending form) as opposed to the straightness of bharatnatyam. Now don't get me wrong -- it doesn't make it better than bharatnatyam, just different. Then, theres the transcendental aspect of it - the fact that it was used to bring pleasure to Lord Jaganath just makes it so special. And then theres the aspect of the costumes, specifically the head piece. I read this:

"The crown, or mahkoot, worn by the Odissi dancer is made only in the devotional city of Puri in Eastern Orissa, where the great Jagganath temple is located.

It is formed from the dried reed called sola in a tradition called sola kama. The reed is carved by a series of cuts into the rode-like stem and forms various types of flowers when a string is tied in the middle of the rod and pulled tight. As the string tightens, flowers bloom into, jasmines, champa-one of the five flowers of Lord Krishna’s arrows, and kadamba -the flowers under which Radha would wait for Her beloved Lord Krishna.

The mahkoot consists of two parts. The flower decorated back piece, called the ghoba, sits around the dancer’s hair pulled into a bun at the back of the head. This piece represents the lotus with a thousand petals that lies above the head in the head chakra, or energy center. The longer piece that emerges from the center of the back piece is called the thiya and this represents the temple spire of Lord Jaganath or the flute of Lord Krishna."

Everything about Odissi - it's costume, jewellery, stance, origin - is symbolic and beautiful. And so nicely linked to Krsna. I like that.

And so it has been decided...Odissi it is!

I'm super-excited...even though I know for a fact that because its been so long since I've danced, its going to be killer on my thighs...but who cares!! Its definitely worth it...

Jai Jaganath!

A fresh start

2008-06-06T11:29:00.004-04:00

Exams are nearly over and I feel like I can breathe again...just about.
My husband is on a 'fresh-start' buzz...between a new job, moving and exams, our lives have been a little crazy. No, make that alot crazy. So my husband has opted for a fresh start - getting into a routine where he wakes up really early, goes for a long japa walk, does puja in the morning...I have to say he's inspired me. He gets all that and the dishes done before I've even woken up! He's always getting on my case to join him, but it never quite happens, except maybe on weekends.

But its needed...A routine so that I don't struggle with my rounds (as much); don't have to stay up until 2 in the morning studying, and get to fit in some quality time with my husband in the mornings.

Any ways, I'm supposed to be trying to be a devotee!!! And devotees wake up early, period. Its called Sadhana, Syamesvari! First step to getting going spiritually.

So heres to a fresh start and routine!!

Vivaha - Samskara

2008-06-06T09:40:00.019-04:00

I figured 746 photos is a bit much to put up, so i've tried to kinda summarise the ceremony with these photos...

Heart to Heart

2008-05-20T13:21:00.005-04:00

When I read a diary post of Sacinanda Swami after a japa retreat, this excerpt really stood out, grabbed and held my attention.

"On a personal level I learned:When you call out from the heart - your chanting reaches Krsna's heart; a heart to heart relationship takes place. When you only chant with the tongue, your chanting does not pass beyond the Lord's ears. He hears you -but His heart does not reach out to you."

HH Sacinandana Swami

Our fearless soldiers

2008-05-15T09:47:00.005-04:00

So many of us have heard of, and even follow closely, the experiences of Partha-Sarathi das in Iraq. Most of us haven't met him, but he has an impact on our lives nonetheless.
He inspires. Simply by being the person that he is and doing the things that he does the way he does it, he inspires. Is it not amazing that we have a devotee out in Iraq, facing death everyday, and yet remaining fixed at the lotus feet of Krsna? In such a fearful situation he puts all his faith in the holy name and just gets on with it. And he's made a couple of devotees while doing it!

I've never met him. I've seen him several times with Kadamba Kanana Swami at our Durban Rathayatra, but my husband shared a room with him last year at Rathayatra (before we were married or had even met) and was just blown away by his humility, his devotion and just the great guy that he was.

I got in touch with him this morning. I think its important that as devotees we let each other know how much they are appreciated. Its a big and important part of our vaisnava culture. In it he replied, "Thank you so much for the letter. It was very nice to read, even if the words best suit some other devotee. It is still hard for me to really grasp that I am some sort of inspiration. I am just a normal guy doing a service. unlike many other devotees in ISKCON."

And that's just it...he is just doing a service...but it's the way in which he's doing it and the people's lives that he's changing while doing it.

"For me being in Iraq is neither an austerity, nor is it a hellish condition. It is a place I ended up somehow or other, a place where I can freely give the message of Sri Caitanya to so many souls. It is not about the insurgency, it is not about supporting the current government of America. It is about following in the footsteps of great devotees and giving our hearts to all we meet. To me it is what I owe Srila Prabhupada. He gave up so much to save us. he endured so many obstacles. I am not a pure soul, I a struggling like any other soul in the material world. But by the mercy of Srila Prabhupada he has given me the gift of devotional service. To keep it to myself is miserly."
Partha-Sarathi das
19 April 2008; Iraq

ISKCON has many preachers who have preached fearlessly in the past and preachers who are fearlessly preaching right now. In South Africa alone, devotees like my Guru Maharaj, Partha-Sarathi das Goswami, Riddha Prabhu, Ramanujacarya...faced so much trouble establishing Krsna Consciousness in a country riddled by apartheid; Sarvabhavana prabhu and so many others who risked their lives to distribute books; Indradyumna Swami who faces so many obstacles with his Festival of India, and those who just go on and on preaching despite the price they pay with their health. And no doubt there are many, many more fearless warriors that I have not mentioned or even heard about.

Srila Prabhupada has spiritual soldiers and warriors that he can surely be proud of.

Thank you, to all of you, for showing us how its really done :)

P.S Check out Partha-Sarathi das's website www.battlefieldbhajans.com

Lord Balaram

2008-05-12T07:31:00.006-04:00

Heres an awesome class by Srila Gurudeva that I just came across on his website. For those of you who've ever been present during Maharaj's classes - you'll know what an experience it can be! His sense of humour, his expressions...and I can tell that it's all here in this class :) Thank you for the nectar Gurudeva!

“The glories of Lord Balaram”

gomatim gandakim snatvavipasam sona aplutahgayam gatva pitrn istvaganga-sagara-sangame
upasprsya mahendradrauramam drstvabhivadya casapta-godavarim venampampam bhimarathim tatah

skandam drstva yayau ramahsri-sailam girisalayamdravidesu maha-punyamdrstvadrim venkatam prabhuh

kama-kosnim purim kancimkaverim ca sarid-varamsri-rangakhyam maha-punyamyatra sannihito harih

rsabhadrim hareh ksetramdaksinam mathuram tathasamudram setum agamatmaha-pataka-nasanam

TRANSLATION: Lord Balarama bathed in the Gomati, Gandaki and Vipasa rivers, and also immersed Himself in the Sona. He went to Gaya, where He worshiped His forefathers, and to the mouth of the Ganges, where He performed purifying ablutions. At Mount Mahendra He saw Lord Parasurama and offered Him prayers, and then He bathed in the seven branches of the Godavari River, and also in the rivers Vena, Pampa and Bhimarathi. Then Lord Balarama met Lord Skanda and visited Sri-saila, the abode of Lord Girisa. In the southern provinces known as Dravida-desa the Supreme Lord saw the sacred Venkata Hill, as well as the cities of Kamakosni and Kanci, the exalted Kaveri River and the most holy Sri-ranga, where Lord Krsna has manifested Himself. From there He went to Rsabha Mountain, where Lord Krsna also lives, and to the southern Mathura. Then He came to Setubandha, where the most grievous sins are destroyed.

PURPORT:Usually one goes to Gaya to worship deceased forefathers. But as Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti explains, although Lord Balarama’s father and grandfather were still alive, it was on His father’s order that He carefully worshiped His forefathers at Gaya. Drawing insight from the Vaisnava-tosani, the acarya further explains that although Lord Balarama was in the immediate proximity of Jagannatha Puri, He did not go there, since He wanted to avoid the embarrassment of having to worship Himself among the forms of Sri Krsna, Balabhadra and Subhadra.

Class by HH Bhakti Caitanya Swami: So when we read the 10th canto of Srimad Bhagavatam, its focusing on Lord Krsna, from the beginning of His appearance to the later portion at least of His pastimes. Pastimes are included in the 11th canto. And of course we do see that throughout the 10th canto and 11th canto that Krsna is focused upon, Krsna is the focal point. Even though Lord Balaram is there and Lord Balaram is not different from Krsna. The only difference is a difference in bodily hue. Otherwise They’re the same. Even more so than any other forms of the Lord. Even Lord Ramacandra, Whose appearance day it is the day after tomorrow, and the various other forms. Except of course for Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda, but on the whole They’re so much one. Even more so than the other forms of the Lord like Maha Visnu and Vasudev, Sankarsan, Pradyumna and Aniruddha, and the Narayan forms in the Vaikuntha realm, and so on. So Krsna and Balaram are more one than those other forms are one. But still we see in the 10th canto of the Bhagavatam and the 11th that really Krsna is being focused on to a very, very large extent, at least 90% or I’m not quite sure in those terms, but to a very large extent. But from time to time, we come across some incidents, pastimes, chapters in the 10th canto where Lord Balaram is the subject and this is one. Who of you, Let us start with the men, please tell us of one pastime in the 10th canto where Lord Balaram is really the focal point?

Devotee: “Guru Maharaj, when Lord Balaram became angry with the Yamuna and scattered her by scratching up her banksi”

BCS: Okay. Yes. Lord Balaram with the river Yamuna, and He forced her to come over to Him. And now the matajis. (One of the men puts up his hand) You’re not a mataji. (laughter) Its okay. Just checking. (laughter) Come on. You know.

Devotee: “I can’t remember the demon’s name but the gorilla demon.”
BCS: Gorilla? Dvivida! Whoa! (laughter)
Madhumangal Prabhu: “I was thinking of ploughing up outside of Hastinapur.”

BCS: Oh, okay, yes! Good! Yes. That was when Samba was kidnapped, was it? When Samba was kidnapped, Lord Balaram went to make a negotiation to get him released. They wouldn’t agree. So, He took His plough and plunged it into the earth right at the foot of the walls of the city and then in this way uprooted the whole city, complete with the earth it was standing on and started dragging it to the Yamuna. To just throw it into the Yamuna, an that would have been the end of all the inhabitants of Hastinapur. So, and matajis, can you think of another one? What about Dhenukasura? The donkey-demon. And I think we just read one, isn’t it? Another one? What was it? “Romaharshana” Romaharshanasuta. Right, killing of Romaharsanasuta.

Devotee: “Maharaj, when during the lifting of Govardhan Hill, and when Krsna was looking at the gopis, and Balaram was looking at Him, smiling because He knew what was going on.”

BCS: Okay. Yes, that’s good. Right. I think those are the main pastimes. At least that I can remember off-hand. And where Lord Balaram is very much the focal point. Otherwise, the rest of the time, its Krsna. And amongst the demons, what we call the demons in Krsna’s Vrndavan lila, there are 21 or 22, I think. Of them, two are killed by Krsna (Balaram). Dhenukasura and Pralambasura. So, two out of twenty or twenty-something.

So here we are then. Yes, another situation where Lord Balaram is being focused upon and performing very wonderful pastimes. He is very amazing transcendental personality.
Oh, there are others. The killing of Rukmi. And then, before the killing of Rukmi, when Krsna kidnapped Rukmini, then Lord Balaram Krsna kidnapped Rukmini. Rukmi chased them and confronted Krsna. Krsna defeated him in a fight and then humiliated him by cutting his hair off in different places. You know. So he ended up looking sort of like a punk rocker. (laughter) Or something strange. And Rukmini was very upset. And it was their wedding day. Well it was. Even though it wasn’t a formal wedding obviously, Krsna kidnapped her. But that is a form of wedding. According to Vedic literaturesit is called the “raksasa” style of wedding, that the young man just kidnaps the brideiwell not bride exactly, but you know, the young woman, whether anybody else likes it or not, including her. (laughter) And that is a form of wedding. Don’t anybody, any of you young men here think of doing that. (laughter) Because it may be more. Anyway its called raksasa style. So, yes. It was their wedding day and Rukmi was, you know as a powerful ksatriya, he was feeling terrible. And Rukmini as a ksatriya girl with the same type of spirit, she was also feeling disturbed and it was her wedding day. Not agood way to start a marriage. So Lord Balaram came and spoke toifirst of all to Rukmini. Oh no, first of all He chastised Krsna, which made Rumini feel a little better. And then He spoke to Rukmini and told her that, well, different things,”You know these ksatriyas, what can we do? They do things like that.” And then chastised Krsna again. (Laughter)

And then back to Rumini, that “everybody gets there karma, and you know, what can we say? It’s in the hands of Providence. So we shouldn’t get upset with Krsna too much”. Like this. And Rukmini became pacified. Yes?
“There was the one incident, when they went to the home. And they were playing dice, and the one personality… I forget the name, was insulting Krsna and Balaram, what do They know about dice. They are just cowherd boys. Then he smiled and showed his teeth”
Well that. Yeah. The king of Kalinga. That’s part of the killing of Rukmi. First of all Balarama smashed Rukmi. And then smashed the king of Kalinga in the mouth. Smashing his teeth because he smiled, showing his teeth. (Laughter)

Yes. Lord Balaram, what happened was well, we just read how Balaram killed Romaharshanasuta Sometimes the Lord does things which are somewhat inscrutable in the sense that you could say thay would be easy for people to object to, people who don’t really understand so much or sufficiently. There’s Romaharshanasuta, sitting on the vyasasana, addressing the sages. And Lord Balaram enters the arena. And according to Vedic etiquette, someone who is sitting on the vyasasana, in an assembly, if some other respectable personiwell obviously he’s sitting thereifirst of all because he’s arespectable person and he’s doing some special respectable function. It may be even more so just that he’s doing the function. Like here We are sitting on the seat. Why? Because We are reading Srimad Bhagavatam. This is a particular point. So, out of deference to Srimad Bhagavatam and it’s exalted message, the speaker…the book has to be higher, and the speaker who is meant to be imparting the book is also, in that sense in deference to the duty, is meant to sit higher. So, because he was in that situation himself, then he sort of had to sit higher. It’s like a point of etiquette that the speaker is meant to sit higher. Not just that he is higher or something. But he’s actually meant, because he’s giving the Bhagavatam, so he’s kind of identified in that sense with the Bhagavatam and it’s message.
So Romaharshana was in that situation. And Lord Balaram, who of course is very respectable person, at least, He came into the assembly. And Romaharshana thought, “Even though He’s a respectable person, but because I am speaking (some whatever, some sastra or something). And this is the etiquette, that the speaker is not really meant to get down and offerobeisances, and so on like that. I remember once going to Varsana, and there was, there they had many different families. Families worship the Deities every two weeks or so they change over. One family to the next. So there was one boy. He was a brahmacari in Krsna Balaram Temple. But he was he is, a, like the oldest son in one of those families of Varsana brahmanas. Although he became, you know, like a real ISKCON devotee, and not just, you know, a sort of “pundit-type”, Brijbasi pundit-type.

So, when it came time for the family to do their couple of weeks, he came back from Krsna Balaram Temple because he was the eldest son and he had to actually, he was doing the whole, all the pujas and all that. So we visited the temple on parikrama, Varsana parikrama, we came and offered our obeisances. He was there, and he was on the altar, and he saw us and he came running out and he offered his obeisances, and then went back on the altar. Then a little later, we stayed perhaps half an hour or so. So a little later he came and said that his father, who was like overseeing things, his fatherhad chastised him. He said that when you’re doing the puja you are not meant to offer anybody else respects. Even if, you know, in a certain sense, normally you would, but when you’re in that role, doing that duty, you are not meant to do that. To break your focus on the duty, because the duty is so exalted and you, you know, you’re meant to give your full attention to the duty.

So, in that sense, Romaharshana didn’t get up. Not necessarily that he was thinking, “Oh. Who is this?” You know. And he became puffed upilike in a more gross sense. Of course he should have got off and offered his obeisances because this is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is beyond even sastra. But it was not exactly that he was thinking that Lord Balarama is just some nobody in particular and therefore there’s no need. Although he should have actually been more mindful of Lord Balaram’s position. So, Lord Balaram, seeing that, took a kusaipiece of kusa grass and hit him or pokedhim with it. Normally if a piece of kusa grass hits you, or you are poked with it, one piece of kusa, normally you won’t die. (Laughter) It’s sort of like a, anyway it’s likeiit doesn’t really look like a grass. It grows in clumps, like a plant. But still, it’s not like, like anything solid. But by the potency of Lord Balaram, he died. So, Lord Balaram, on one hand, He was right to do that, to show that the Supreme Personality of Godhead has to always be accepted and offered respect. And it’s not just a matter of Vedic etiquette or something, but it this an absolute point. This is an absolute point. We have to accept the Supreme Lord and not be mistaken about His position.

But still, the brahmanas there well, first of all, they said actually you know, “You’re the Supreme Lord, so it’s okay.You know, You can just do these things.” But then they said, “You know, really speaking it wasn’t so good, so we think You should do something. You should atone for it. At least to set an example, that would be the best thing. So Lord Balaram said, “Fine.” And then, among other things, they told Him to go on pilgrimage. He was already on a type of pilgrimage. At least He was already moving around. Because, although it’s not really discussed so much in the Bhagavatam, when the Battle of Kurukshetra started then He felt very frustrated. Because He felt the battle could be avoided. Lord Balaram, one of His key interests and expertise is negotiation. He is a very expert negotiator. If two parties are at odds with each other, He can find ways to bring them together and balance things out and make a solution, which people will actually be happy with. So He felt that something could be done, but Krsna didn’t seem to want that. In fact, Krsna Himself had actually become frustrated in His own way. Krsna wanted the battle so therefore, and ,of course, it’s all part of the lila, but Duryodhana, the leader of the other side was very dear to Balaram, in a certain particular way. Jiva Goswami says that this was a special arrangement of the lila sakti.

Even though Duryodhana was a demon and the Supreme Lord, you know, He doesn’t like demons, but due to the influence of the lila sakti and the course of the pastimes, because Duryodhana had been such an attentive student in club-fighting under the direction of Lord Balaram. So Lord Balaram developed some type of a soft spot for him. So, Lord Balaram wasfrustrated that this battle could not be avoided so He left. Krsna stayed, as we know, and He participated, driving the chariot mainly, of Arjuna. But Lord Balaram felt “No. I don’t like this. I’ve had enough. So He went. And while the battle was starting, He was there in this pastime with Romaharshanasuta. And then, as the battle was continuing, He went to these places. So, in other words, He was moving around quite quickly. And then He came at the end, as mentioned already in the summary, He came to where Bhima and Duryodhana were about to fight, which was right at the end of the Battleof Kurukshetra, still within that eighteen-day period. At some point in the build-up to the battle itself, after Lord Krsna’s final attempt to negotiate peace and being mistreated by Duryodhana again. Then at some point during that build-up when appeared that the battle was inevitable, then Lord Balaram left. So He went to all these places. Some very nice places. Some of us may have been there.

Venkata Hill. Thirumala. The Thirumala Hill, where the Thirupati Temple is. The Kanci. Kanci. Kancipuram. These places were already famous pilgrimage before the appearance of Lord Krsna and Balaram.
Kancipuram. There is a famous temple there of Varadaraj, of Lord Visnu. Big temple, very nice temple. And the exalted Kaveri River, which runs by Sri Rangam, which is also mentioned here, which is also a famous place of pilgrimage. We were there at Sri Rangam many years ago and we went and bathed in the Kaveri River. And there we were, bathing away. And we would, you knowiit’s quite shallow, stand there in the water. And suddenly we noticed. Oh! Our feet were being bitten, by little fish. All these little fish. Little schools of fish coming and biting our feet. And we asked the local people, “Why do they do that? Don’t they get enough food?” And they said, “Well, no. Nearby there’s the cremation ghat, and they, youknow, often times they throw the bodies in, they haven’t been fully burned. And the fish have developed a taste, And the same thing at Kesi Ghat actually, in Vrndavana. Well, it’s considered not wise to bathe from Kesi Ghat going a little further down the Yamuna because the turtles have developed the same taste, because the cremation ghat is just further down.Hare Krsna! But the Holy Sri Rangam, where Lord manifested Himself. Sri Rangam, Rangaksetra is magnificent temple, and very nice place, very interesting placei but it was already there. It was already there before Lord Balaram visited there. And there’s various other places. Then to Setubander.

Oh, the Southern Mathura, which is Madurai, where there’s the Meenaksi Temple of Durga . And Setubander. Setubander, where Lord Ram broke the bridge, when they finished the whole pastime of going to Lanka and rescuing Sita. That place is there at Ramesvaram. AlthoughiThere used to be a temple there. It’s right down the southern end of Ramesvaram Island. There used to be a temple but there was a storm and it got washed away. So, Lord Balaram went to all these places. He went to Gaya. In the purport its mentioned how He went to Gaya. And normally you go to Gaya when your father has died. Normally your father, and you do ceremonies particularly for your father. And also for the other forefathers but it’s generally, in the great majority of cases, done in the context of one’s father’s passing away. And then one may offer also oblations for the grandfather. But then otherwise, in the general sense, for the forefathers one may do some things there. But Lord Balaram’s father and grandfather were still present, so why did He do that? Well, as is pointed out here, drawing from the Vaisnava Tosani, which is Sanatan Goswami’s commentary on the Srimad Bhagavatam, Visvanath CakravatiThakur somehow or the other extracted some point there that, Oh, no. Ok. That’s something elseithat His father had told Him either, either, Vasudev, not really Vasudev actually, had told Him that You should go there anyways and make offerings to the forefathers.

And then, from Vaisnava Tosani, Visvanath Cakravati Thakur, drawing insight from Vaisnava Tosani, which is I think is Sanatan Goswami’s commentary on the Bhagavatam, explains that even though the Lord, Lord Balaram was there at Jaganath Puri, He didn’t go there because They, Jaganath, Baladev and Subhadra were already being worshipped. And He didn’t want to go there and be put in that transcendentally embarrassing situation, of seeing Himself being worshipped. So, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He has these sensitivities. Personal sensitivities, like Krsna, every morning, as described in the 10th canto, Krsna wakes up, and what does He do? Well He takes a bath and He meditates on Himself. This is His sadhana. Lord Balaram, wakes up in the morning, takes His bath and what does He do? He meditates on Krsna. He doesn’t sit down and meditate on Himselfialthough there would be nothing wrong with that. But He is in the mood of a devotee, so therefore He meditates on Krsna. But Krsna, is very much in the mood of being the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He meditates on Himself. And He enjoys that very much. So these are some of the things which are described here.
Any comment or question?

Devotee: “Maharaj, about Thirumala. Its one of the richest temples in the world. Isn’t the form of Balaji worshipped there?”

BCS: Its Visnu. Yeah. Its Visnu. Srinivas. Sri-nivas. Visnu, the resting place of Luxmi, as far as I’m aware. Yeah, its very rich, but that’s only in the last previous century, that it became very opulent, otherwise it was, you know, one of these temples up on top a hilliyou get these temples on top of a hill and it was very hard to reach and it was not opulent. But then some people went there and offered prayers and became very wealthy. So therefore they started a campaign of promoting the temple on that basis, and as a result the temple started becoming more popular. And then more people became wealthy, and then they really started promoting it in that way. And now it’s known for that, you know, universally, throughout India at least. So, it’s only been in the last less than a hundred years that it’s become opulent. Otherwise it was up on top of a hill and, you know, there were no motor cars to get up there. Oh! It was a big job. So people really didn’t go there. And one devotee, well Prabhupada was discussing this, and one devotee suggested it to Prabhupada.

Devotee: “Why don’t we start a rumour like that?” (Laughter)

BCS: I think this was in Bombay… “about Radha-Rasabihari?” Prabhupada said, “No. We don’t want people coming with that sort of mentality.” Yeah. Because, you know, it happens. For example, you know, I’ve had people come to Me, couples, saying that they were not able to have a child for years in the marriage, they came and prayed to Radha-Radhanath and they had a child. And they’re coming to offer their thanks. I’ve had a number of couples come to Me. I’ve also had people say that they were unsuccessful financially, they prayed to Radha-Radhanath, and suddenly Bang!…their business justtook off, and things like that. But in that case I forget if it was Giriraj Maharaj or who it was who told Me, but I remember some years ago somebody said that they were present with Srila Prabhupada when this thing about Thirupati was brought up. And Prabhupada said, “No, we don’t want people coming with that sort of mentality. Because then it will become like ananartha, and they wont really become devotees for the sake of being devotees, and it will be tinged, heavily tinged. And you see them if you go there to the Thirumala Temple. Then, they have all these brahmanas, they get so much money every day, seven days a week, particularly the weekends, Saturday and Sunday, it’s just bizarre. And they have this group of people, they simply sit there whole day, brahmanas, counting money. I have seen at least half a dozen of them, in India, they’re sitting, this big pile of money.

“Are there books there, Maharaj?”
Books?
“Is there somebody sitting next to the brahmanas, who are counting the money, that they have books?”

Well our devotees have a permanent book stall there. From the temple at the bottom. The town is called Thirupati, which is at the bottom, the hill is Thirumala. The temple is actually the Thirumala Temple. But, yeah, our devotees have a permanent place there. They’re there seven days a week, and that’s one of the main sources of income, how they were able to build the temple, which was just opened, I think one year ago.”

“Maharaj, You know the Deity Venkatesvara? Where do read about Him in the Srimad Bhagavatam?”

He’s not there. That’s Balaji. Venkatesvara. Thirumala.

“Why’s He not mentioned in Srimad Bhagavatam?”

Oh, He’s mentioned here… “Lord Caitanya went to Venkata Hill.” Venkatesvara. That Thirumala is also called Venkata Hill.
“What I mean is that you never read any pastimes”

Well, you’ll have to go down there. They have literature of their own, but I don’t think you’ll find in the actual Vedic scriptures as such. I am not aware of there being accounts, like in the Puranas.
“How do you get up the hill, Maharaj?”
You can walk or you can drive up. Take a bus. Take a taxi.
“They haven’t got a cable-car?”
No. (Laughter)

Devotee: “Maharaj, what do Aniruddha, Sankarsan and Pradyumna look like?”
BCS: They look like Krsna. Well there are different forms, but in Goloka in Svetadvipa. They’re there, which is part of Goloka, the surrounding area. So They look like Krsna. Two-armed forms. More or less identical to Krsna. And, you know, there’s the story of Aniruddha with who? The daughter of Duryodhana, right? Wasn’t it? Laksmana? That’s Aniruddha? I think so. In the Bhagavatam, in the 10th Canto. And Laksmana dreamt of Aniruddha and she just decided, “This man, He’s going to be my husband.” But she’d never seen Him. So asked her, one of her assistants, who was a mystical yogini, “Who is this? Show me pictures of all the very handsome, young ksatriya men on the planet.” So that person showed her different pictures, including Krsna. And when she saw Krsna, she thought, “Oh! This is almost Him.” She was struck. “But not quite.” And then she saw Pradyumna, and she thought, “Wow! This is just, but not quite.” And then she saw the picture of Aniruddha, and she knew, “Yes. This is Him.” So, They look like Krsna. They look like Krsna.

Devotee: “Then They’re expansions of Balaram?”
BCS: Yes. Yes. First of all, He expands as Sankarsan, and from Sankarsan the other three come. Then from that Sankarsan, comes a second Sankarsan who is called Maha Sankarsan, who is the chief presiding Deity in Vaikuntha, therealm beneath Goloka. And from Himiand He’s four-armed. And from Him comes another Vasudev, Pradyumna and Aniruddha. They’re all four-armed. And the Vasudev, Pradyumna and Aniruddha in Goloka, They’re generally two-armedalthough sometimes They may be four-armed.

Devotee: “Maharaj, I have a question on how Romaharsanasuta, is he categorized as a demon?”
BCS: He was not a demon. He was the father of Suta Goswami, yeah. He’s a big sastric authority actually, but somehow, he wasn’t exactly a pure devotee. So therefore he made that miscalculation with Lord Balaram. But He’s big, big pundit and sort of devotee to some degree.
Devotee: “When Lord Balaram kills someone do they also get liberated, like when Krsna kills?”
BCS: Yes. Yes.
Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!

The old young me

2008-05-08T12:51:00.004-04:00

I long to be the girl I used to be...the old, young me

I've kept a journal since I was 14. I loved the therapeutic qualities it offered. A friend who shared none of your secrets, but offered you advice and guidance in a gentle non-intrusive way. Every detail of my life is recoreded in about 7 different books. And every now and then, the desire to look back would wash over me and I'd reach for an old journal. Finding my old journals at home was like reconnecting with an old friend. It was amusing in a 'God-I-was-so-immature-I-can't-believe-i-thought-that-way' kinda way; cringe-worthy in a 'oh-GOD-I-can't-believe-i-thought-that-way' kinda way and inspiring in a 'god-i-wish-i-still-thought-that-way' kinda way. (Thats a sentence with way too many ways!)
I read a journal from 2003, at a point in my life when i was chanting 32 rounds - "Something just hit me so hard - can you imagine that exact moment when you go back to the spiritual world and see Radhe-Shyam face-to-face? How amazing that must be! To see Their faces, see how They walk, hear Their voices...That just makes me want to chant and chant and chant and just get there!"
That inspired me...the person that I was and the way I used to think, inspired me. I want to chant extra rounds again, like I was doing back then, instead of struggling to get just get through 16. I want to be thinking long-term about my spiritual life again. Reading that, looking into the past at a fresh, excited, spiritually enlived me has inspired me!!

Resolution: Think like the old me and write more and more so that I can keep me going and in check in the future!

I loved dancing. I still do. But I did it a whole lot more when I was younger and with a whole lot more passion. Whether it meant going to Kathak and Bharatnatyam dance classes; dancing in Bhaktimarga Swamis dramas or special events; or just turning the stereo on and letting loose...It was what I loved doing most. It was when I felt the most alive; that I was doing something that I not just loved, but was actually half-way good at.
I remember dancing at a benefit concert in South Africa hosted by Bhakti Caru Swami. It was an evening of drama and classical music by some Indian musicians Maharaj had brought down. Afterwards the tabla player, an elderly gentleman said to me that it was one of the best dances he had ever seen. Now THAT meant something. I don't necessarily agree with him, mind you - but it inspired me.

Resolution: Dance like no ones watching!! Also - go back to Kathak classes!!

I remember visiting Vrindavana some years ago during Kartik, knowing that I would return to South Africa with my very own Krsna-Balaram deities. It was the realisation of one of my oldest, strongest desires.
My grandparents took my cousin and I to Vrindavana for the first time when we 11 years old and non-devotees. It was Kartik and anyone who's ever been there during Kartik knows that, while Vrindavana is a transcendentally special place all year round, there is just something that makes it even more special. Everything in Vrindavana was overwhelming and so utterly charming - the parrots at sunset; the cows mooing in the distance; the peacocks crying at dawn; the bells ringing in the evening, and just the presence of beautiful Radhe-Shyam and Krsna Balarama. I lost my heart in Vrindavana (and no its not a cliche), but I specifically lost it to Krsna-Balarama who I fell in love with the moment that I saw Them. It was there that I first chanted Hare Krsna, wore a sari and did some devotional service. Cutting the wicks for the Damodarastakam lamps - that was the first piece of devotional service I ever rendered. And with a knife, not scissors mind you. Lots of blisters after.) So Vrindavana, and Krsna Balarama, are very significant and special to me.
So when They kindly allowed me to take care of Them, it was a major, major moment in my life. Having Them in my home, to be able to see Them and serve Them every single day was so, so amazing. They were my direct link with Vrindavana.
But as time has passed, I've gotten busier and let other things take priority over serving Them. I want to serve Them again like I did when I was younger - with the love and appreciation They deserve.

Resolution: Make Dauji-Kanaiyalal my priority!!

So I realise that as life goes on change is inevitable. I can't really be the person I was 5 years ago. Alot has happened since then that has encouraged, or forced, me to grow up. I guess in essence, I want to do the things that I enjoyed and were good for me; things I haven't outgrown but neglected. There are some areas in my spiritual life, and life in general, that need a bit of shaking up and the old young me is just the gal to do it:)

A few words from Bhaktimarga Swami

2008-04-23T17:56:00.006-04:00

It's been a month since our wedding in South Africa.The days before, the actual day and the few days after were so special. Unfortunately, due to visa issues, school, moving and travelling I haven't had the time to just sit down and write all those recollections down (or type them up in this case).

I thought that I'd just add this little note off Bhaktimarga Swami's blog, in which he speaks about our wedding. Maharaj is a very big, important part of our lives and we felt so fortunate that he was a part of this big step that we took.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 Durban, South Africa

Do monks get involved in weddings? In my order, yes, most certainly! In fact, my comrade Bhakti Chaityana Swami acted as the father to Syamesvari, a young woman in the local community, and formally gave her away to her new husband Savyasacin at the ceremony this evening. I also participated but in a more minimal way. As an invitee, I attended the program which recognized the mutual bond between this lovely couple. Savyasacin is from Canada and is a sincere seeker. In a short address I emphasized that such a union has less to do with romance and fantasy functions (such as the wedding ceremony) and more to do with complementing each other in personal character growth and becoming responsible human beings, of which the most important function is self-realization. Srila Prabhupada taught the central point of married life is the Supreme Force whom we identify as Krishna, the speaker of the sacred Bhagavad-gita.

We're eternally grateful that Maharaj could share this day with us, that he spoke such encouraging words and that he offers us his guidance and support. Thank you Maharaj!!

Check out Maharaj's blog...its great!!!

http://thewalkingmonk.blogspot.com/

My grandfather...Deepcharan Mathura

2008-03-04T03:42:00.004-05:00

On February 21, nearly two weeks ago, on the most auspicious appearance day of Narottama das Thakur, my beloved gradfather left his body, and passed away.
I had left Canada on Sunday the 17th February, and arrived in Durban on Tuesday, the 19th. Two days later, my grandfather passed away.

I'm so grateful that Krsna allowed me to spend two days with you. Its only because of you that our family took to Krsna consciousness...you never enforced it upon us, but let everyone take their time to accept Lord Caitanya and Krsna into our lives.
I never thought that there would be a time when you wouldn't be around - which is an unrealistic, childish notion. I also thought that, having knowledge of the philosophy, death would be easier to handle. Its actually the most difficult thing in the world. Sometimes I'm just glad that you had such a peaceful, Krsna conscious death, and at other times, I feel like my heart is being squeezed with the pain that your loss has brought.
I don't know where you are right now - that's between you and your Lord; but I take comfort in Gurudeva's words, that you are 'in the best hands' now.

Our wedding will not be same without you; neither will our lives for that matter. But I thank you for the precious gifts you have given us, given me specifically - thank you for being so steady and Krsna conscious before you left; for being so peaceful and accepting. I'm sorry that you suffered in those days leading up to your passing, but you were such a wonderful example for us all. The most important thing you taught us was with your attitude in those last few days.

Please know that you will always be loved and missed...and that you have done the greatest service by bringing us all to the lotus feet of Krsna, and assissting us in our spiritual lives.

Lila...in our thoughts and prayers

2008-02-05T13:28:00.001-05:00

Like so many devotees around the world I have been following what has happened in Vrindavana to Lila. I don't her very well, but she has become a familiar face from all my trips to India and Vrindavana more specifically. A smile and haribol when we passed each other - nothing more, but enough to leave an impression in my mind.
Initally when I heard what had happened I found it hard to digest that something like this could happen to someone I know, however vaguely, and that it could happen in Vrindavana of all places.

Now that I've learnt that Lila has infact left her body, amidst a wonderful kirtan, surrounded by devotees, so many important things come to mind.

Lila loved Vrindavana. That on its own is an amazing thing. The Vedas urge us to take shelter of Vrindavana and develop love for this place, which is so dear to Krsna. In his Vrindavana Mahimamrta, Prabhodananda Saraswati Thakur says, "May I love Vrindavan, where at the base of a kadamba tree on the cool shore of the Yamuna a dark complexioned, amorous, divine youth dressed in yellow garments plays a flute as He glances at Radha's lotus face."

Just to be allowed to enter into Vrindavana means that one has the blessings of Srimati Vrinda-devi and Srimati Vrindavanesvari, the Queen of Vrindavana. What to speak of living there, for years and years? Some of us hope and pray to be able to go to Vrindavana for Kartik every few years, but Lila was fortunate enough to have lived there most of her life there.

"Vrindavan is like the incomparable essence of the ocean of pure love of Krishna, or it is like the sweetest island-bracelet decorating that ocean of love, I pray this land of Vrindavan, which the great sages experience sweet as nectar, give me shelter until the moment I leave this body."

It is so, so unfortunate that this had happened in the first place, but how amazing is it, at the same time, that Lila has left this world in Sri Vraja Dhama? The sastras state that one who leaves his body in Vrajabhumi Vrindavana returns immediately to Vrindavana in the spiritual world. So Lila has left earthly Vrindavana and returned to Radha Shyamasundar. Devotees hanker to be in Vraja at the time of their deaths, and Lila achieved that.

Actually, on her Gurukuli profile, one of the last things Lila said was:

....just read this and it makes me think 'yes prabhupad is still here and i know it i always have ..'

May 17 : Note this was at a situation when Srila Prabhupada was critically ill and actually he passed away five months from then.

If death takes place, let it take here. There is nothing to be said now. Whatever I have to speak, I have spoken in my books. Now you try to understand it and continue your endeavor. Whether I am present or not present, it doesn’t matter. As Krishna is living eternally, similarly, living being also lives eternally. But ”One who has done service to the Lord lives forever.” So you have been taught to serve Krishna, and with Krishna we’ll live eternally. Our life is eternal. A temporary disappearance of this body doesn’t matter. Body is meant for disappearance. So live forever by serving Krishna .
srila prabhupada Vrindavan, May 17, 1977.

I don't understand why a 17 year old girl's life was ended so suddenly, but I understand that she had a most auspicious life and death, in the land of Vrindavana, surrounded by devotees and Krsna's sweet holy name.

I pray that Krsna gives her family strength during this time.

All glories to Lila!!

Deities, deities and more deities :)

2008-01-21T13:55:00.000-05:00

Radha Manohar, Montreal...The deities overwhelmed me with Their size and beauty. They simply take your breath away...you might recognise Krsna from the front of the Darshan book:)
Sri Nathji...the first deity I laid eyes on in the U.S...He's absolutely stunning
I haven't travelled to Hungary (yet), but this Radhe-Shyam is one of my favourite deities. Radharani has the most beautiful long eyelashes...the creativity of the devotees in Hungary is amazing
Radha Radhanath, from back home, in Durban...being away from Them has made me realise how special They are to me
Radha Kunjabihari, in Detroit...Krsna has the most enchanting tilt to His head...

And then there's Radha-Govinda in New york...I don't have the space to put Them up on this post...but They too were so beautiful and opulent.
Right now I'm doing the most travelling I've ever done in my life...it's definitely an eye-opening experience...how amazing is it that in North America there are so many temples and so many deities being cared for with so much love and devotion? Its astonishing what Srila Prabhupada has done!

Sri Sri Krsna Balarama

2008-01-14T10:48:00.000-05:00

nayam atma bala-hinena labhyo
na ca pramadat tapaso vapy alingat
etair upayair yatate yas tu vidvams
tasyaisa atma visate brahma-dhama
“One cannot attain the goal of life without the mercy of Balarama. Sri Narottama dasa Thakura therefore says, nitaiyera karuna habe, vraje radha-krsna pabe: when one receives the mercy of Balarama, Nityananda, one can attain the lotus feet of Radha and Krsna very easily.

se sambandha nahi yara, brtha janma gela tara,
vidya-kule hi karibe tara
“If one has no connection with Nitai, Balarama, then even though one is a very learned scholar or jnani or has taken birth in a very respectable family, these assets will not help him. We must therefore conquer the enemies of Krsna consciousness with the strength received from Balarama.” (SB 7.15.46)

These are my very beautiful, very merciful deities, Sri Sri Dauji Kanaiyalal...I pray that Lord Balarama, with His moon-like face and lotus eyes, will use His plow to drag out all the impurities and offenses in my heart, and bestow me with great spiritual strength and love for His younger brother, Shyamasundar.

Sri Sri Dauji Kanaiyalal ki...JAI!!!

Matchless Gift

2008-01-09T10:01:00.000-05:00

In a city this big, in a room that small, His Divine Grace started a movement that would sweep over not just that particular city, state, country or continent, but the whole entire world.

Going to New York City over the holidays was an overwhelming experience. The number of streets, the number of people, the number of cabs and cars...its truly a lesson in insignificance. It makes you realise that Srila Prabhupada had to have been a very, very special person, with a a very valuable, valuable message if he got people to stop and take notice.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada!!

Japa

2008-01-04T01:49:00.000-05:00

I've found myself keeping strange hours these days...I stay awake almost all night, going to bed the next morning at around 3 a.m. No matter how hard I try I can't go to sleep at around 10 p.m or later.
It has been a blessing in disguise. At around 1 a.m I start to chant my japa, which takes me up to around 3 a.m, when I finally find myself tired enough to go to sleep.

Initially it was just practical - if I did my rounds at this time, it gave me more time to do other things, like study, plan a wedding, cook for the deities, read...But now, it has become more than just practical. Its so peaceful in these early hours (its 2 a.m right now); my mind is quieter and the urge to chant the holy name is stronger. Its my quiet time with Krsna, and I've come to value it very much.
I've come to see how chanting good japa (or at least making an effort to do so) is the key to establishing and maintaining a relationship with Krsna - and the spiritual master.
I've never lived out of South Africa before and so my Guru Maharaj was always easily accessible - to serve, talk to or hear classes. But now, all I have is e-mail, which has been quite a change. The distance has felt physical and spiritual. But since I've been putting more effort into my japa (and as sentimental as this sounds) I've felt closer to my Guru Maharaj. It is only through his kindness and mercy that I am chanting the holy names of the Lord. "Through Krsna one gets Guru, and through Guru one gets Krsna."

I pray that the holy name will forgive my offenses and bring me closer to the lotus feet of Radha Shyamasundar.

"O holy name, you are manifested in two forms:1. the supreme person described by the Holy Name, and2. the sound vibration of the Holy Name. We know thatthe second form is more merciful than the first. Even a person who commits many offenses to the first form may become always plunged into an ocean of bliss by serving the second with his voice."

Sri Namastaka, Raghunath das Goswami